Recurring Dream Theme

Last night I dreamt that Ben and I were unmarried but living together (in a non-sexual sense) and I was caring for his children and he kept telling me not to get attached to him because it was only temporary. Well, the time came for him to leave and I kept telling him, "I know you said not to get attached but I am. Please don't leave.  We could get married and stay together." And he kept telling me, "I was worried this would happen.  I told you not to get attached." And then he left.

Sad.

Another common dream I have is that I am married to some random person (the person changes depending on the dream) and I meet Ben and have feelings for him but we're both committed to other people and can't be together.  Usually there is a long, complicated debate about wanting to leave my spouse for Ben but there are children involved and I feel it's immoral and unethical.  So, I spend the dream secretly in love with Ben and trapped with a person I have zero feelings for.

Sometimes I wake up from those dreams crying.  Then I spend the next 24 - 28 hours feeling sappy and lovesick.

And then there's the dream that Ben and I are both single and back at college and I'm desperately in love with him but he doesn't like me.  I spend the whole dream trying to convince him I'm his future wife and he spends the whole dream rejecting me.  So depressing!

I've spent the day analyzing myself and here's what I've come up with:

• I think my problem is that I yearn for Ben even in my reality but I'm unable to be with him as much as I would like.  He is still having to work long hours and we really don't get to see each other much.
• Or I'm insecure and think he's going to leave me for another woman.  I don't think that's the case.  But, maybe?  
• Perhaps I think he's going to die and leave me that way.  
• Possibly I'm being reminded by some higher power of how lucky I am to be with him though having to experience the pain of being without him. 

Whatever it is - I wish my subconscious would be a little more secure and have happier thoughts during the few hours I spend in dreamland.


I do love him ever so much.  And I'm pretty sure he's fond of me, too.

I love days like this.....

Our Baby Chicks

We have a feed store nearby that has a sign out front, "Billy can't get a girl.  Buy hot chicks here $3."  Anyways, I've driven past that sign (weird ad) but it caught my eye and I thought how fun it would be to get chicks.

Then, I was scanning photography blogs a little while back and came across photo shoot that used live bunnies and baby chicks for Easter pictures.  I knew I had to try it!

I've been waiting for McKay to sit up well enough to finally buy them.  Today I did it....I bought 3 five day old chicks!

It was 6:30 by the time I bought them and brought them home so we didn't have much time to play with them, but the kids L.O.V.E. them!!  The wonderful little neighbor girls were out back and came over to take a look. We played with them for about 20 minutes and then put them down for a 'nap' in the nice, warm garage.

Sadie just loved hugging and cuddling them.  She wasn't hesitant at all about picking them up.  She scooped the bird up perfectly and tucked him under her chin.  I asked her what she was doing and she said, "Keeping him warm."  How does she know she needs to keep him warm?  I didn't.  But we are - the man informed me.  She'll be a really good mom one day.  She's got the instincts for it.

Jax on the other hand just kept saying, "I scared....a chick....I scared!" But then he would try to touch them and would smile.  I tried to put one in his hand but he moved his hand at the last second and dropped the poor baby bird.  He was fine though.  Hopefully he'll warm up to them by picture taking time.

These aren't the best photos but it's all I took.

Most Commonly Spoken Phrase In Our Home....

....is "No screaming Mo!"  

He's a screamer.  And it's not even a manly scream.  It's the high and squeeky, glass-shattering type.  Ah, it's AWFUL!

He especially likes to scream in the car.  Jax starts to cry and says over and over "No skeeming Mo, no skeeming Mo."  It's so sad and pathetic and hilarious to hear him say it.

Do you feel bad for me?  You should. You really should.  My mom doesn't even like to ride in the car with us anymore.  Do you Mom?  Gives her a headache.  It gives us all one!

In A Nutshell

This was our week in a nutshell...

Monday we visited the preschool in the morning and played around here in the afternoon....

All three kids took naps (very rare) so I got a little snoozer.  Very nice!  McKay was the first to wake up and we played in Sadie's room for a while.

Sadie only takes a nap once or twice a month.  She has a hard time waking up afterwards.  Here she is in her daze....

I've been playing with the self-timer on my camera a lot lately.  I have lots of shots like this....

Once and a while I'll actually get one kindof in focus....

Tuesday we visited Mimi in Seminole and took the kids to the Florida Botanical Gardens....

They had these signs posted all over the place.  Made me nervous!

Wednesday we visited Andrew Cricchio for his birthday party play date...

Thursday we went with Mimi to the Strawberry Festival....

Jax was terrified of the cows.  He secretly really, really likes them.  But his love goes out the door when we see one up close.  Poor kiddo!

Jax fell asleep and McKay melted down so we didn't get to see everything.  It was a madhouse though and a warm day so it was probably good we left when we did.

Friday we had a lazy morning and then went to the park for three hours this afternoon....

Always on the wrong feet.  I don't even care anymore!

I couldn't decide which of these three were my favorite so I'm posting all of them.  They're all so cute for different reasons...

It should be a busy weekend up ahead.  We are headed to Seminole tomorrow for Joseph's third birthday party and the beach in the afternoon.  Let's hope we find a few minutes for rest, too.

Picture Post of Jax

This morning I had an appointment to visit a preschool we're considering for Sadie this fall.  I was worried about having all three kids, so I did something drastic and called a friend (Marie Enfante) to see if she would watch Jax for me while I ran this errand. She happily agreed even though it was last minute.  This was the first time I've left just Jax with anyone other than family.  And I'm embarrassed to admit that I balled my eyes out.  It took me at least 20 minutes to get my act together after I dropped him off.

Jax was upset for the first few minutes but then had a splendid time.  When I picked it up he didn't even want to leave.  Marie did crafts with the kids (she has a beautiful son a few months older than Jax) and they watched a video and played with all of Issac's cool toys.  I was so grateful for her kindness!  The preschool trip was much more enjoyable without having to supervise curious little Jax.

I suppose because I missed him so much this morning all I wanted to do was take pictures of him this afternoon.  He's such a handsome little boy and so sweet and fun to be around.  We're sure blessed to have him in our family!

Here are a few pictures of him from the last couple of days.....

Some from today.....

This was one of the crafts he made with Marie.

He loves this little baby doll.  He'll be an excellent father one day :)

We're still waiting for one more tooth to come through.  Do you see the space?