We are still here at the hospital because Jax had some 'rapid' breathing and a little fluid in his lungs so they put him in the NICU and we have to stay a little longer. We are hoping they will let us go home tomorrow, but it all depends on how well he feeds. I can't wait to get home with Sadie and be a family again!
In the meantime I thought I would jot down the birth story before I lose the few details I remember. Here's how it all went down....
7:00 AM - We arrived at the hospital late due to having a dead car battery. We slept at my parents' house the night before since they are only 20 minutes from the hospital and so we wouldn't have to wake Sadie and transport her.
7:45 AM - Met with our wonderful nurse, Terri, who hooked me up to an IV and all kinds of cords and wires. It was a terrible feeling. Exactly what I had wanted to avoid! I felt so confined with an IV, two monitors, and blood pressure cuff.
8:30 AM - Dr. Kant came in and we talked about the induction. She happily agreed to break my water before we start pitocin and hope that contractions would start on their own. They broke my water and we were happy to see the liquid was clear. When she checked me I was 3 cm dilated, 50% effaced, and at a -2 station.
9:25 AM - I had only one contraction during the hour so Terri came in and started the pitocin at a 2.
10:12 AM - Contractions were steady at every 3 to 4 minutes apart and at a good strength. They were very bearable and felt like strong braxton-hicks. They increased the pitocin to 4 mL/hr.
10:30 AM - Things started to take a turn for the worse. My contractions were definitely strong and coming every two minutes, and I was handling them just fine. However, the baby's heart rate was dipping with each contraction. They turned off the pitocin, had me flip from side to side, gave me oxygen, and did an amnioflush. He continued to struggle and they began planting the idea of a C-section in my mind. They said due to his single umbilical artery, my 'old placenta,' low blood pressure, and small amount of amniotic fluid he might not be able to endure a normal birth. Well, we said our prayers and Cliffie called to say she put our names on the prayer roll at the temple. He started to handle things a little better. I could only lay on my left side in a certain position, though. My contractions were still coming every 3 to 4 minutes apart, but they were not nearly as uncomfortable as they had been. My pain level was around a 3. We stayed this way for a while, and Jax started to get better and better.
12:15 PM - The baby had been doing well for over an hour, so they decided to turn the pitocin back on. They typically start the pitocin at 2 mL/hr, but we asked them to put it at 1 mL/hr and wait to see how Jax responded. Once they turned that stuff on my contractions immediately started getting more intense. Luckily, he tolerated the stronger contractions just fine so....
12:30 PM - They increased the pitocin to 2 mL/hr. Okay, by this point, I was really starting to feel uncomfortable. My pain level was probably at a 5 or 6. My plan going into the birth was that it would be my dream to do it without pain medication. But once I found out I would be induced, confined to a bed, with tons of wires, and having stronger contractions due to the Pitocin - I decided to cut myself a break and get the epidural when my pain level was around an 8. At least that's what I told the nurse and Ben. But, in the back of my mind I still knew I really wanted to try and hold out until the end. But, I knew I should be flexible. The idea crossed my mind at this point that it would be nice to get an epidural. However, I was so worried that if I moved an inch his heart rate would dip and I would end up on the operating table. So, I decided to tough it out a little longer...
12:50 - They wanted to increase the pitocin to 4 but I was pretty much dying at this point, so I asked them if we could move it to just 3. Our new nurse, Sarah, said that would be okay.
1:02 - This is the point I lost my mind. I decided my pain level was an 8 and asked for the epidural. I was a little disappointed in myself, but in too much pain to care and decided I would reconcile with myself at a later date.
1:06 - The next contraction was gut-wrenchingly awful! Serious panic set in!!! I was feeling nauseous, pressure, and terrible body-numbing, I-can't-breath, somebody-shoot-me type pain. Even if the anesthesiologist had walked in right then I knew I was in too much pain to even sit up and get the epidural. I seriously panicked. That's when I realized I might be in transition :) Since I was feeling pressure I mentioned it to the nurse. She quickly checked me but said I was only at 6 cm. Honestly, it was a huge disappointment to hear, but in the back of my mind I knew she was wrong.
1:06 - 1:11 PM - I seriously lost it! I remember telling Ben things like, "I'm never having more children" and "I can't do this anymore" and such nonsense. He kept telling me to visualize white, puffy clouds and happy thoughts and yellow dots on a blank canvas. But, I just wasn't able! Each contraction was putting more and more pressure on me. I was trying to be a cooperative, well-mannered patient but also trying to reconcile the feeling of needing to push. Even by my emotional state - I knew it was time. Finally, I knew I needed to push! Like it or not, ready or not, I knew I couldn't NOT push. Even if I was only a 6 - I had to push!!! I barely said the words to Ben, "I have to puusshhhh...." and I was pushing.
1:12 PM - I remember Ben yelling, "Nurse, nurse she pushing!!!!" She peeked at me, panicked, and started yelling for all sorts of people. She kept telling me not to push, and I really wanted to cooperate, but I had zero control over my body! It was one of the strangest sensations I have ever felt - a total lack of control. I was going on 100% natural instincts and NOBODY could stop me. Although, the nurse was pushing my legs closed and telling me to 'blow it away' I just kept pushing! Ben was holding my hand and helping me get into position because I was still laying on my side. But, the nurses were not cooperating! Ben says I said, in the saddest, most pathetic voice, "I can't do this anymore". At that moment, our original nurse, Terri, came into the room (along with probably 6 other people) and said in the kindest, calmest voice, "It's okay, honey, go ahead and push if you need to....just let the baby come." I was so grateful! She and Ben helped me on my back, I gave one push, and the baby crowned. The doctor walked in, prepped in seconds, and reached down just in time to catch the baby. Sweet relief!!!
1:16 PM - Jax was born! He and I laid there in a daze for a good 10 seconds. Then they laid him on me. Ben kept saying in the most excited voice, over and over again, "I can't believe it....Honey, you did it!....You're amazing....We have a baby." He probably repeated that line a good 5 times while I just sat there in a daze having a starring contest with Jax. Ben says I seemed almost melancholy, while he was hyper as could be. It was love at first sight! We were shocked as we examined his almost blond hair, long toes, and big, plump lips. I held him for a while as they cleaned me up. It really took about 5 minutes of Ben's praise and excitement before I fully realized what had happened. I went from 6 cm to having a baby in less than 10 minutes. It was the wildest experience of my life!
We are so grateful to have this adorable, calm little baby boy. He is about the sweetest little guy you can imagine. I can't wait to get him home and have him for myself. It's been a hard, but really good week!
