The Johnsons

Sadie's Fourth

2012-01-28T11:15:00.002-05:00

Sadie turned four. Boo hoo! It was a depressing thing for me but I put on my happy face for her. She's such a great little kid. I hope she knows how loved she is.

We had a playdate in the morning with Tickners and Cricchios. Bailey has the same birthday as Sadie. She turned one.

Julie, Joseph, James, my mom and Gramma came up around 4:30.

The rest of the family arrived around 6PM, including our honored guest, Charlie.

This is a video of those who were in attendance:

Then we ate dinner. Special thanks to all those who contributed.

Then we jumped on the trampoline in the dark while wearing glow sticks.

Then we sang and ate cake. All the kids kept blowing out the candles while we sang and I kept relighting them. It was cute!

Then we opened presents. The bike was too big! Opps.

Then we had to say goodbye. Sadie had the time of her life. It was sad for her to see it come to an end.

But don't worry, the next morning we had the after party where she got to play with all her presents and try things out. That was fun, too.

Letter to Kimmy

2012-01-23T08:24:00.001-05:00

It was another sleepless night in the Johnson household. I kind of wonder how we've done it this long. One or both of us gets up every hour or two. I don't think I've had more than two consecutive hours of sleep in months now. McKay did well around 6 weeks to 9 weeks, but it's been awful since.

And then there's Jax. He has really been struggling lately too so we decided to move him up to a big boy bed in Sadie's room. The first two nights he slept the whole night through! Well, we aren't sure how long they slept. We found them at 6:30AM with the light on playing with their toys. Sadie said, "Jax was on the floor so we decided to play." Good idea, Sade! At least they weren't waking us up :) The second night they woke up and Sadie said, "Jax was jumping on my bed so I had to wake up." Then the last two nights Jax has woken up several times. But, usually Ben just walks him back in there, stays a few minutes, and gets back to sleep quickly. Thankfully Sadie is a very deep sleeper and loves having him in there. She says at night now, "Come on Jax, it's time for bed buddy." How cute, huh?

Sadly, last night Ben was up several times with Shadow, too. Here's a condensed story of why: Jax threw a baby food jar yesterday morning while I was trying to get the kids ready for church. Well, I did a quick imperfect clean up job and then threw some paper towels in the trash can and still needed to finish later. Well, about 4PM yesterday shadow got into those paper towels and ate some of the glass. I found them with blood on them. He seemed fine last night but he was up all night throwing up and wanting to go out. I'm a little worried. We may need to take him to the vet. Great.

I gave a talk in church yesterday on forgiveness. Will you forgive me? I'm trying to be a very forgiving person now. If you want to offend me I won't mind. Well, I almost missed giving the talk because we had a crazy morning. We had birthday party on Saturday for Katie Tickner's little girl (Bailey - she has the same birthday as Sadie). Well, she called Sunday morning to tell us that one of the little girls at the party had a bad case of lice! So, she recommended that I put the kids in the shower and blow their hair dry because the heat would help to kill them if they jumped on our kids heads. (FYI - the kids never left Ben's side because it was stimulation overload so they just starred wide-eyed at all the action). So, I put them in the shower anyways and P.S. - that is a lot of work, and I ended up getting wet so I had to re-get-ready after I was FULLY ready already and Jax ended up peeing all over the place and then threw the glass jar and McKay cried the whole time because he's been teething and running a fever for two days and wanted to be held and I was THIS CLOSE to saying - "FORGET IT! We're staying home" which the kids would have loved if I said because they hate going to church. Sadie especially lately cries the whole drive there and is refusing to go to primary and Jax won't stay in nursery either. Anyways, I'm side tracked. End of story - I made it to church *late* and the talk was just fine and we survived another Sunday, so that was good. Oh, one more thing, Kristy Pickerol Cook was at church - so fun to see her. Bishop called her up to give her testimony. She may even come over for FHE tonight and Bishop's family. Not sure yet. Wouldn't that be fun!

I'm desperately excited for Sadie' birthday this week. We're going to have a glow in the dark trampoline party. Should be fun. Sadie talks about it all the time. She's say, "Who's going to have a birthday this week? Is mommy going to have a birthday? NOOOOO. Is Daddy's going to have a birthday? NOOOOOOOO. Is Jaxie going to have a birthday? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Is Sadie going to have a birthday. YYYYEEEESSSSSSS!" She can't wait. We bought her a new bike and a some balls for the trampoline and puzzles and I can't remember what else. I'll be busy all day today getting the house cleaned up, cake made, presents wrapped, and decorations put up. Exciting! Or I may end up taking McKay to the pediatrician and Shadow to the vet. Who knows how this day will go?

Anyways, pray for us to survive these sleepless nights. I exaggerate not - I'm literally up every hour and a half on average. It's time to let him cry and we're tried twice but Jax woke up and then poor Ben had to get up and McKay has been teething and it's just not fair to let him cry when he doesn't feel good.

P.S. I'm attaching pictures of my kids. It seems like all my recent ones are of McKay. I'm so painfully in love with that baby that all I do is stare at him all day long and take pictures of his stunning little face. My heart is no longer my own; it's his to have forever. He is my everything. Beautiful, wouldn't you say?

Cow Pie and the Dairy Farm

2012-01-19T22:22:00.002-05:00

This is my dad:

He's a fascinating person. One of my heroes - a truly amazing human being. He has many layers. That man is a bundle of surprises. Perhaps I'll do a blog post about him one day.

Well, one evening when Sadie was a little tyke she kept running around the house shouting, "Cow Pa, Cow Pa, Cow Pa." Ben and I both thought she was saying, "Cow Pie." Not the best thing to run around the house shouting, but she was a late talker so we encouraged her and helped her clarify the words and pronounce more clearly cow pie instead of cow pa. Sometimes you just have to go with kids' interests, right? Well, a few days later we were at my parents house and she started shouting again, although this time more clearly, "Cow Pie". Then we realized. Duh! She was trying to say Grandpa. Oops! So, we tried correcting the problem but to no avail. Still to this day she calls my dad Cow Pie. We think of it as a term of endearment - one of her first words that she worked long and hard to say clearly. Although, we do get strange looks when she calls him Cow Pie in public.

Anyways, we received an email a few weeks ago from my parents saying they wanted to take the three oldest grand kids to a Dairy Farm. Do you find it ironic that Cow Pie wanted to take them to a Dairy Farm where there happen to be many actual 'cow pies'. He must subconsciously like his name, don't you think?

My mom was sick the day of the outing so Joseph filled in for her. So the three Josephs, Ethan, and Sadie went on down to Sarasota for a day of cow pie fun.

She started crying when they first arrived and said she wanted to go home.
My dad carried her for 15 minutes and then she calmed down. What a guy!

Playing in the hay maze

She actually does have a strong love for livestock.

My dad looked pretty weathered by the time he brought Sadie home. We asked him how it went and he said, "I think they may have been a little young for it still." Poor guy!

I think she had fun even though she was scared of the hay ride and cable cars. Care to guess what she talks about when we ask her about that day? Two things - how fun it was to ride in my parents' high tech van and eating chicken and fries on the drive home. Great.

Guess what I did today

2012-01-11T19:21:00.000-05:00

Today I met my newest nephew!!!

Charles (Charlie) Michael Meyers was born at 6AM this morning and weighed 9 lbs and 1 oz. He was nearly three weeks early! He was in the breech position so he had to be delivered by c-section. He is beautiful, happy, and healthy. I love little Charlie!

McKay's Girlfriend

2012-01-09T22:24:00.003-05:00

Addison Cricchio was born just 5 weeks after McKay. She's a darling, petite little thing....

We were at the park with the Cricchios for a play date last week and Stephanie and I put the two babies together on a blanket. This is what spontaneously happened.....

At first they were just hanging out...

Next Addison swats McKay and McKay tries to grab her hand....

McKay: Hmmm, is she thinking what I'm thinking?

She retracts but he goes searching and finds her itty bitty little hand....

McKay: Is it too soon? We're only a couple months old?

He's feeling nervous about making a move and Addison is a little unsure about taking their relationship to a new level....

Addison: Who does he think he is?

And so they lay there, hand in hand, staring up into the afternoon sky and listening to the squeals of laughter coming from their siblings.

Addison slowly starts to warm up to the idea of holdings hands....

McKay holds on with two hands to Addison's little fingers - smiling all the while.

McKay: Gee, life is great!

Video

2012-01-09T21:49:00.004-05:00

I haven't posted video in a really long time. When looking back, we actually enjoy watching home movies more than browsing through pictures, so I'm trying to be better about remembering to take video. Perhaps I should start playing around Adobe's Premiere Pro software?!?! Sounds like a fun new hobby :)

Anyways, this first video was taken this morning. I actually thought I was on picture mode at the beginning so sorry if it's a little crazy at first. I wasn't planning on doing video so forgive me for not having PJ pants on Jax and Sadie's still in her PJs. It was impromptu.....

This is a little snippet of Sadie doing a few of her 'tricks' on the trampoline. I think I took it last week. Jax learned how to jump today. Up until today he would just run fast on the trampoline but now he can actually jump. He was so ecstatic about his new found abilities and giggled for 15 minutes straight as he kept practicing. He's really in the middle of a developmental leap right now. He's changing so rapidly lately!

This last video was taken a few nights ago. Things were starting to feel really chaotic. Sadie had made a mess in the kitchen, McKay was getting tired, Jax and Ben were playing the piano loudly, the house was a mess, etc. So instead of giving into the stressful feeling I decided to document it....

Do you like how Sadie whispers in the movie? Like she doesn't want to be discovered? Ha!! She makes me laugh!

200,000

2012-01-09T09:48:00.001-05:00

My car hit a major milestone this past week....

Yup, I broke the two hundred thousand mile mark. Ben's little Civic has 5,000 miles more than mine does. Yikes! Good thing I don't have any pride or style because this is the little beauty I drive around in.....

But, in all actuality, I don't really care about driving a 10 year old van with 200,000 miles on it. I don't even think about it really. We're just grateful to have it. It allows me to stay at home with my kids. There are chaotic moments in the day when I feel otherwise but there really is no other place I'd rather be. So, we drive old cars and skip out on fancy vacations and own a moderate sized home. Those things allow me to stay home. It's a no brainer trade off to me.

But have no fear!! I won't be driving this car too much longer. My brother-in-law Kurt has a DIY blog where he did a post about HGTV's Dream Home Giveaway and so I've been entering the contest everyday. I'm pretty convinced we're going to win and that house comes with a brand new SUV.

I believe in miracles. Do you?

Johnson Happenings

2012-01-06T15:43:00.001-05:00

Too much to document; too little time. Hopefully I can remember all the happenings in the last week. Good thing I take pictures to jog my memory!

Last Thursday (12/29) we spent the day at my parents' house. My mom, McKay and I went shopping in the morning; Ben, my dad, Joseph, and Uncle Gary golfed in the afternoon; and then my parents watched the kids in the evening so Ben and I could go out for Indian food. It was a splendid day. I did not take any pictures of the festivities but these are some of the pictures Ben took of the kids while we were out shopping.

Sadie picking leaves

Jax trying to reach to pick leaves.

Jax gives up and plays with the shovel instead.

For New Years Eve my parents randomly decided to come up and let Ben and I go on a date. We tried to go to our favorite Italian restaurant but there was an hour and a half long wait. So, we went to Chili's instead. Always delicious.

My parents stayed for a while and visited after we got back. My dad told us all sorts of interesting stories about our relatives. It was a fascinating evening.

The next day we went to Chuck E Cheese for my cousin's son's birthday party - little Carter. The kids seemed a little overwhelmed by all the craziness at first. They were slow to warm up but enjoyed the games and tickets by the end. Jax loved Chuckie and kept calling him Mickey. They had a great time, and it was wonderful to be able to support family. Stephany planned one really cool party!

Carter, the birthday boy, examining his crown.

The next morning (1/2/12) Joe, Julie, & Fam came up along with my parents for a morning of fun. Julie brought her homemade bread and we made French Toast and Vanilla Caramel Syrup. It was rich but so delicious.

Then we jumped on the trampoline and talked about weight loss. We must have been feeling guilty about what we'd just eaten :)

On Tuesday (1/3/12) I spent the day organizing. Here are some random pictures from that evening....

Wednesday (1/4/12) we went to the Homestead for Joy School. We haven't had it in almost a month and Sadie has really missed going! Here are a few random pictures from that day....

I LOVE Jax in this one. He always wants to be one of the big kids.

We've had playdates with Cricchio today and yesterday.

We've been jumping on the trampoline a lot!

Anyways, it's been busy and we've had lots of good times.

Couple more things....

1) I'm in a weight loss competition with Cricchio's husband, Danny. Whoever loses the most weight by April 1st wins $50 and the other couple is going to babysit their kids. Wish me luck. I just signed up to run a 5K in February. I'm working out like crazy and guess how much weight I've lost....I've gained 2 lbs. Very depressing! I guess it's time to stop eating caramel sauce for breakfast :)

2) McKay now has two teeth.

3) Jax is no longer perfect. He's been so difficult to manage lately. I'm mourning the loss of my perfect little child. But, he has started talking in the last two weeks. He repeats most anything I ask him to say, and he's starting to put two words together on his own.

4) McKay is rolling over pretty consistently.

5) I'm signing Sadie up for Gymnastics, I think. I always thought I was a T-Ball and Soccer type of mom, not a Gymnastics and Dance type of mom. But, now that we have a trampoline I'd like for her to know some tricks. So, I think I'm going to sign her up.

6) Our family just did a huge batch order of boneless, skinless chicken breasts and my 30 lbs. arrived today. We ordered it through https://www.zayconfoods.com. It only cost $1.69/lb and the birds were just killed two days go. No hormones or preservatives added. I'm excited to try it for dinner tonight.

7) It's Friday. I love Fridays. They are the best day of my week. Happy Friday!

P.S. I've changed 3 poopy diapers since I started this post.

P.P.S. Most of these pictures were taken with my new point and shoot camera. Can you tell a big difference?

New Outfits

2012-01-06T14:17:00.000-05:00

Dear Grandma Fe-Fe,

We love the new outfits you sent for Christmas. The boys have worn theirs 3 times in the last two weeks. You're the best.

Thank you,

Your loving Floridian Grandchildren

P.S. Please come visit us again soon....we miss you!

First Tooth

2011-12-27T13:53:00.000-05:00

McKay officially has his first tooth. We discovered it yesterday. I think he's working on getting another one, too. He's drooly, cranky, and restless. My poor little man!

Christmas 2011

2011-12-27T12:57:00.003-05:00

Christmas Eve

Ahh....Christmas. Such a wonderful time of year! Every year seems to get better and better.

On Christmas Eve day I did some last minute shopping while Ben played with the kids. Then we made our assigned food, took showers, and headed down to Seminole. As a sidenote, this was the warmest Christmas I can remember. It was almost unpleasantly warm. The high was 80 degrees!

Ben entertained the kids for over an hour with this train set Gramma gave us.

Sadie loves to help me in the kitchen!

My parents hosted Christmas Eve this year. We had my aunts, uncles, and cousins over. Joseph's family was in Utah this year, Christy stayed in Utah this year, and Kimmy's on her mission in....you guessed it....Utah. So, it was just mine and Mike's families here in Florida.

Sadie played all night with my cousin Lauren. Lauren is amazing!
She's beginning her PhD in Public Health at the University of Maryland (my dad's Alma mater).
She's smart, beautiful, funny, and the nicest person you'll ever meet.
I love her and so does Sadie!

Ben and his boys looking festive! They'll probably complain one day about these outfits I dressed them in, but I thought they looked so cute!

This is my Aunt Debbie (my mom's sister), Uncle Gary, and cousins - Alex, Lauren, and Johnathon.

Uncle Jeff holding itty bitty baby McKay.

Michael and Ethan came but Sarah stayed home as she was not feeling well. We missed you Sarah!

We arrived back home around 9 or 9:30 and Ben went straight to work setting up a trampoline my parents bought for us. He had the base of the trampoline set up in quickly. Ben and I were out there jumping on it at 11 o'clock at night. The net took forever to set up though. While Ben was busily doing that I wrapped presents while watching the Sounds of Music. Wonderful movie! Around 12:30 Jax woke up. He's been waking up a lot at night lately again. I tried for an hour to get him back asleep but never succeeded. Around 1:30AM I hit my exhaustion overload but Ben was still setting up the trampoline. Poor guy. The only thing he had left to do was tie the net to the trampoline which he said could wait until morning. So I headed to bed while Ben tried to get Jax asleep. Ben finally came to bed sometime around 3AM, I think. What a guy! He has the Patience of Job when it comes to Jax's sleep issues.

Christmas morning Sadie was the first to wake at about 8:15. Ben and I went in there quite excited and explained it was Christmas and Santa had come. Care to guess her reaction? Totally unenthusiastic, refused to leave her room, and sad as could be. Not what I expected! I think she was scared by the thought there was some huge, old guy dressed in a red suit in our house. Totally understandable, I think. But, after we talked to her and reassured her that Santa was long gone she agreed to go check things out. The rest of the morning went smoothly. Sadie loved, loved, loved her trampoline. She asks to go out there hourly.

After the trampoline reveal we headed back into the house for the rest of present opening. Ben received new scriptures and some lawn equipment and I received a new camera. It's a good point and shoot camera which means it's smaller and easier to take on outings and now I will have more pictures of me with the kids because our bigger dSLR is hard for other people to use. I love it!

After present opening we quickly got ready for church. After church we went straight to my parents house. On the drive down we received a call from Christy letting us know that they are having a girl! Very exciting!!

Kimmy called shortly after we arrived at my parents' house. We talked on the phone for 2 and a half hours. I'm not really a phone person so it seemed really long. It was wonderful to talk and hear her voice, though. They had Joseph on skype using their iPad-looking-thing and Kimmy on speaker phone. Jax was AMAZED by seeing Joseph on skype and kept kissing the screen. Then he would walk behind it and look for Joseph. He just couldn't figure out where the rest of Joseph had gone.

These two played great together during our long conversation.
They found shovels and pretended to plant a garden for the longest time.

Jax was jealous my dad was holding McKay and crawled up in his lap, too.

We had a wonderful dinner prepared by my parents and then opened a few more presents. The kids will have lots of new things to keep them entertained which is great timing because Ben's busy season starts soon and we won't be seeing as much of him.

Well, it was another wonderful Christmas! We feel very grateful for the generosity of others, for the family we have, and the support of family and friends. We've been very blessed.

A word & a song

2011-12-22T09:42:00.002-05:00

I have certain adjectives and songs that float through my mind as I go about my interactions with each family member during the day. They change depending on stages and phases but I thought I'd write down the current ones....

****************************************

Sadie in a word: SPECIAL. She's so unique and has a little extra something special, I think.

My theme song for Sadie lately is "You're One In A Million" from Miss Congeniality. I love the peppiness of this song and dancability - very Sadie like. It also talks about being an answer to a prayer and with a smile my heart was gone. Perfect for Sadie!

**************************************

Jax in a word: PERFECT! He can be difficult at times, but overall, for a little boy he is so great. Just the personality we needed in his position! He's my perfect little boy.

Jax's theme song is "You've Got a Friend in Me" from Toy Story. Especially appropriate that is says, "miles and miles from your nice warm bed".

When the road looks rough ahead

And you're miles and miles

From your nice warm bed

Just remember what your old pal said

Boy, you've got a friend in me

You've got a friend in me

You've got troubles, well I've got 'em too

There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you

We stick together and we see it through

You've got a friend in me

Some other folks might be

A little bit smarter than I am

Bigger and stronger too

Maybe

But none of them will ever love you the way I do

It's me and you

And as the years go by

Boys, our friendship will never die

You're gonna see

It's our destiny

You've got a friend in me

*******************************

When I'm holding McKay the words that run through my mind over and over again are simply, THANK YOU!

And the song playing in mind as I hold him is "So This Is Love" from Cinderella. I really am over the top in love with little McKay. It's almost painful at times.

So this is love, Mmmmmm

So this is love

So this is what makes life divine

I'm all aglow, Mmmmmm

And now I know

The key to all heaven is mine

My heart has wings, Mmmmmm

And I can fly

I'll touch ev'ry star in the sky

So this is the miracle that I've been dreaming of

Mmmmmm

So this is love

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Then there's Ben. Ah *sigh of relief*......Ben. When I think of Ben I think HAPPINESS.

My theme song lately for us - "I'm In Love With My Best Friend" by Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat. I think it's the separation factor I'm especially drawn to in this song. And quite literally he's dressed up in his work clothes while the kids and I play in bathing suits at the beach or pool so this song is very appropriate for us. He also makes it easier when life gets hard :)

Jax's Half Birthday

2011-12-18T12:50:00.000-05:00

Guess who turned 18 months on Friday? That's right. Little Jaxie. To those of you that are LDS you know that this is a big milestone because it means they can start attending nursery for the last two hours of church. Yeah! Hopefully he'll enjoy nursery. Sadie never did. I was excited to give it a test run today but the kids woke up with runny noses.

Sometimes I worry Jax doesn't get enough attention. He's the least demanding and it seems like Sadie and McKay monopolize my time. He's always the last to get what he needs and he's kindof had to grow up quickly with McKay having come along a little sooner than planned. So I thought this would be a good excuse to make him feel special and recognized.

Sadie and I made him a crown and had it ready for him to wear when he woke up:

Sadie wanted to wear a crown too so we made her one that said, "Big Sister of Half Birthday Boy."

For breakfast he had yummy cinnamon sugar steel cut oats. He loved them.

I also let him open two Christmas presents - a bubble gun and bubble set. He is a bubble fanatic and we spent a good hour outside blowing bubbles. He was in bubbly heaven.

Sadie 'helped' him open one of the presents.

In the evening we took them to Jay B. Starkey's Christmas light display. He loved it. Well, mostly he loved the candy cane that Santa gave him.

Hopefully he had a good half birthday. He is such a wonderful little guy! So Ben-like - calm, patient, loving, forgiving, happy, stable, easy going, and sweet. I hope he knows how loved he is!!

Deja Vu

2011-12-16T09:28:00.001-05:00

Sometimes I really feel like I'm living last year over again.

Last year:

This year:

We were at my parents house this past weekend and I realized both McKay and I were wearing the exact same outfits that Jax and I were wearing on a Sunday last year that I did a blog post about: http://bsakj.blogspot.com/2010/09/sunday-afternoon.html. Ah, memories. Jax was such a great, cute little baby! Where has the time gone?

And I can't help but think about how I was already pregnant again when Jax was the age McKay currently is. Crazy!

But, you know what's crazier? I'm really quite sad that it will be so long before we'll have another baby. I'm already missing the newborn stage. What's happening to me?!?!

4 months

2011-12-08T14:26:00.002-05:00

McKay just turned 4 months old. The time has gone quickly. I feel like he's always been with us, not like he's a recent addition.

Guess how old Jax was when we got pregnant with McKay....4 months. He looked like this:

This was Sadie at 4 months (well a couple weeks over):

I really believe McKay and Jax were meant to be close. It's like they were a 2-for-1 special. They're meant to be brothers. I'm so happy they'll have each other. I'm so happy we have them.

Whirlwind of a Weekend

2011-12-05T10:53:00.002-05:00

Wow! Where did the weekend go? We were on the go every minute.

Saturday morning we had James' first birthday party at a park in Clearwater:

That night I had a photo shoot at Honeymoon Island. It went okay. The family was running late so we only had a half hour of good light and there were two little kids that weren't so into the experience. Here are a few from that night....

Sunday morning....always crazy. Although, the two older kids were so good at church yesterday. They usually are. They really are good kids. Even a few people came up to me and said, "How do you get them to just sit perfectly on the bench like that? What is your secret?" It made me feel happy. Although I had to leave just after the sacrament to nurse McKay and the kids wouldn't stay with the person we had sat with so I had to take the WHOLE family out. Ben came and got Jax so I could nurse though. Jax cries when I nurse McKay a lot of the time. I usually have to distract him but that's hard to do at church.

I was reflecting yesterday about where we are now compared to where we were when we first moved into this ward. When we first moved into this ward I was 22, was teaching, was young and fit, was just finishing up a Master's degree, and we were so in love. To be honest I was feeling pretty good about myself...a pretty cute house, an amazing husband, and a Master's degree at 22...not bad, right? Well, 5 years later I'm 25lbs heavier, we have three kids, this house that seemed so big is now feeling itty bitty, and I'm not feeling so young and fit or educated or special. Ben and I are still in love though and I have 3 beautiful children that I absolutely adore! I just can't believe how much things have changed. Hopefully I'm a better person and learning and growing and softening but sometimes I just don't feel so spiritual anymore or like I'm accomplishing much. It's so hard to maintain spiritualilty when there are so many other pressing needs. Even when I try to sit down and read scriptures my mind is wandering and I'm thinking about laundry I should be doing or work I need to get done or a child who is about to wake up or sleep that I could be getting or a work out I should do, etc. And then Sundays are my most stressful day instead of a rejuvenating time. It's just hard sometimes. Good thing I have a really strong testimony to carry me through this time. I know in another two or three years things will have totally changed again. I'm just trying to enjoy this time as much as possible without ruining myself too much ;) I love my life! There are just a few difficult aspects that I'm trying to find solutions for...weight and spirituality mostly :)

Anyways, Sunday afternoon I had two more picture taking sessions. One was for the Tickners. Here's a funny picture from that night....

Then I took pictures of the Sheltons. Sister Shelton was recently diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer. She's a funny, feisty, lively woman. It's nice to be able to be the giver of service rather than the recipient.

When I arrived home from these sessions Ben was dead tired. So I took the kids out while he took a nap (it was 6 o'clock at night but he was really tired). The kids and I had a wonderful time looking at Christmas lights and playing. McKay had a meltdown so we had to come home early though. So, we got the kids in bed and I watched the devotional and worked on pictures and Ben hit the sack early.

And here it is Monday morning already. We're about to go to Bishop's farm now. It's not actually Bishop's farm. It's his dad's property with a few horses on it and Bishop is building them a house on this land so he tends to be there. So Sadie calls it Bishop's farm. Sadie loves to feed the horses. Jax clings to my side and starts to cry the second we drive onto their property. I need to drop something off though, so he's going to need to be brave. Wish us luck :) It's another crazy week up ahead. Christy is coming to town and we have LOTS of fun things planned. Sounds exhausting and delightful!

Life Lately & Thanksgiving

2011-12-01T13:21:00.000-05:00

Hello blog. It's been a while.

Here's what we've been up to....

Wednesday, November 23rd, we went to the library in the morning for storytime.

Sadie's working on a puzzle. She loves this outfit. Sorry if she seems to wear it in every post!

Jax's thinking face. Very typical expression for him.

Andrew was at storytime, too. They made these cute Turkey hats. Sadie wore it all afternoon! What a sweet boy he is.

This was a sticker she received at story time. I told her to make a heart with her hands and put it around the sticker (like in a pregnancy photo). She said, "I want to do a diamond instead." Alrighty then.

That evening we went to Honeymoon Island with Ben. He was done with work at 3PM. It was a beautiful evening but a little on the chilly side. We still had fun, though. Sadie made sandcastles the whole evening while Jax investigated objects and shells along the beach. I took pictures and Ben cuddled McKay. Very typical behavior for all of us.

Oh I love him!

Sadie was cold in this picture. Can you tell? I feel sad for her looking it. Note to self: keep sweaters in the car.

Thursday, November 24th aka Thanksgiving, Ben attended his Turkey bowl in the morning. This year we went with him to the park. Last year I told myself I was going to make Thanksgiving more fun for me and the kids this year because last year Ben played football all morning while I struggled to make all the food while keeping two kids occupied and feeling sick due to being pregnant. Thanksgiving is such a man's holiday - play football, eat, watch football. Don't get me wrong - I'm happy Ben has his football (he looks forward to it ALL year) but I wanted the holiday to be enjoyable for the whole family so I took the kids, too. Anyways, Cricchio and KT came along, too. We all had fun! Yeah :)

Sadie Tee, Sadie J, and Andrew - the cutest of friends.

Ben may have been a little embarrassed I was taking pictures of him in front of everyone.

Boy did Jax want to get in there and play. A few more years buddy!

Sadly I didn't get any pictures of us at dinner or of the food. It was good though. Really, really good. My mom takes food seriously! And Julie made some amazing sweet potato casserole and cheese cake pumpkin pie stuff. It was yummy.

So, after dinner but before dessert we went to a park to play tennis, throw frisbees, hit baseballs, and let the kids play on the playground. These are my most favorite parts of holidays! It was a beautiful evening and the park sits right along the water. It's my heaven on earth.

She is amazing! 84 years old and still going strong. I played her in tennis this night and she was still quite good. Me on the other hand....I need a little practice.

It was a wonderful Thanksgiving! Ben is very aware of how I feel about that holiday and tries extra hard to help me feel included. He watched the kids while Gramma and I played tennis and I was able to hit baseballs for a while while he protected our children in the outfield. He's a good husband. He's what I am most thankful for.

Friday, November 25th, started off like this.....

That's right....that's Ben getting all of our Christmas decorations out of the attic. A chore he dreads all year, by the way!

Sadie loved all the beautiful ornaments and Jax was quite curious about the event. We had a great time.

Saturday, November 26th, we went Christmas shopping in the morning, took naps, Ben took the kids to the park while I cleaned up, KT (Katie Tickner) came over to practice piano, and then Melanie and Bishop came over for a date night. It was a SPLENDID day! Really, really, really a wonderful day.

Sunday, November 27th, my parents came to our ward again to see Sadie participate in the Primary program. Guess what...she did it! She delivered her line wonderfully. Ben and I thought it was a slim chance that she would even sit on the stand. But, our little Sadie went up there, sat happily, and spoke perfectly. She's really growing up!

Anyways, I know this is the never ending post, but here a few more happenings around the Johnson household lately....

We bought a new washer and dryer. They are huge and great. I do about half the number of loads per week now.

I've been trying to run. My current goal is to make it 2 miles without stopping. I was at 1.85 and my shoe came untied...so disappointing! Anyways, usually I go after the kids are asleep but on this particular evening I put McKay down and then went while the other two were still awake. When I came home I found Ben sitting on the sofa with all three kiddos. He looked like this....

They were watching Wonder Pets, all were happy.

We bought this off of Craigslist for $40 and I'm in the process of painting it white for Sadie's room.

My garden is growing. Hooray!

We eaten several of these lettuce leaves on sandwiches already. They're quite tasty!

Natalie helped me get this picture wall put together while she was here. We just got all the frames hung and I'm about to purchase the pictures to go in them. Thanks Natalie!

This weekend we have James first birthday party and I have a real paid photo shoot. I'm very excited for both! Well, excited and nervous for the photo shoot. I hope I'll be able to get some good photos! Photography is an expensive hobby and I need to find a way to support myself :) Also, I've already documented most every angle and expression of my children. I need new subjects to work with. Stressful but fun!

This is the end of the never ending blog post. Thank you if you're still reading!

Letter to Kimmy

2011-11-22T09:46:00.002-05:00

I haven't had any time to write a post so I thought I'd copy my letter to Kimmy from this week.

To the best missionary in the whole world,

Ma and Pa came up to our ward to help me today. Boy was it great! Church was actually rejuvenating and enjoyable. We have several Spanish people in our ward that don't understand the language but come and bring their children every week. I admire them so much! They come to church because they know it's the right thing to do even though they don't necessarily get a lot out of it. Sometimes I feel like them - I come but I don't hear the message. I try to feel the spirit but mostly it's just stress but I know it's a passing phase and important for the kids.

Guess what. Next week is our primary program and Sadie has a part. I'm not sure if she'll deliver her lines or not but I'm SO excited. Mom and Dad are coming up for that, too. Yeah - I'l survive one more week :)

Sadie has had a major verbal explosion lately. She's talking up a storm and using complex speech. Some examples....
- Jax fell down the other day and she looked at him and said, "Oh no Jaxie, are you okay?" He didn't respond, so she looked at me and said, "I assume that means yes."
- She's always telling us how proud she is of us for things..."Oh Daddy, I'm so proud of you for making the light go green." "Oh Mommy, I'm so proud of you for feeding Jaxie lunch." I love it!
- I asked her what she learned in primary today and she responded, "Oh I just love primary. I sure learned lots of wonderful things." that's a direct quote :)
- When we're playing hide and seek she always says, "Come seek me mommy."
- She often times calls me by first name...."Alicia, can I have some juice?" Or in her prayer tonight she said, "Thank you for Alicia and Daddy and Jax and McKay."
- I can't think of more but she does like hundreds of the above things every day. I just can't remember all of them. If I wrote every thing down that shocks me I feel like I would be writing constantly. She's the greatest little kid. I love her to death (and beyond.)

Jax is getting super coordinated and he is the fastest little runner. He's sweet, yet tough. He is our perfect child, I think. Very well behaved, easy going, great at sharing, patient....just a great kid. He is so Ben's personality clone. He HATES it when I nurse McKay though. He often stands at the end of the bed and cries for the whole 15 minutes. It's dreadful. I hope it's a passing phase. I've tried lots of things to distract him - shows, snacks, toys. Sometimes something helps but nothing is a guarantee fixer. :(

McKay, oh McKay. If you could only know how wonderful he is. Oh, I just LOVE, LOVE, LOVE him! He is my everything. His smell, soft skin, cheesy grin....it's the most amazing, wonderful sensory experience to love a newborn. He's just so effortless to love and intoxicatingly beautiful and just oh so wonderful. I love that baby. He's the best little thing that's ever accidentally happened :)

Then there's Ben....practically perfect in every way. He's enjoying his kiddos and looking forward to having a little extra time with us this week due to the Thanksgiving holidays....sports, food, walks, talks, and naps. I can't wait!

God bless whoever thought up holidays! It makes life so much more enjoyable to have reasons to celebrate and breaks from every day life. Wahoo!

Bret and Shannon announced today that they're pregnant (due in June)! And Lane and Bekah are expecting a baby sometime around when Christy is due. Troy and Becky are due in January and they're thinking of naming their little boy Jace. Yeah for babies :) Hopefully Kurt and Des will have one soon, too. They'll be great parents!

Cricchio wants me to start running with her. I'm not sure I can do it though. Even when I was super fit I could never run far. We've gone twice and I can only make it like .25 or .5 miles. Pathetic, I know. I do want to lose this weight though and it seems like it would be a good way to do it.

McKay is waking so I best go feed him. Love, love, love you tons!

Peace be with you,

Al

This little boy always has a book in his hand. He has to take one wherever we go.

a laugh is a smile that burst

2011-11-21T22:46:00.000-05:00

and his smiles are bursting all the time now. I love it!

Joy School Crush

2011-11-14T14:38:00.000-05:00

I'm happy to report that Sadie is loving Joy School. We go every Wednesday and it is the highlight of her week. The two little boys that are also in the class have become her best friends. She talks about them all week and remembers them in her prayers at night.

Last week she and Emerson became slightly affectionate with each other. I wasn't there but Yvonne (Emerson's Mom) said that Sadie kept trying to hold his hand on their walk and Emerson was enjoying every moment of it.

Ben had a talk with Sadie about her behavior. The conversation went like this:

Ben: "Sadie, were you holding Emerson's hand?
Sadie: "Yes!"
Ben: "Sadie, you're too little to hold boys' hands, ok?"
Sadie: "But he's a cute little boy Daddy!"

Should we be worried?

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-31T22:59:00.000-04:00

Pictures from today.....

And it's not even Halloween yet....

2011-10-31T15:57:00.002-04:00

We've been celebrating Halloween for weeks now. Finally the actual day is here! I think the kids think the holiday has already come and gone already. We've done a fall festival, caramel apples, a pumpkin patch, joy school party, and Trunk or Treat.

Fall Festival

Walking through the corn maze at the fall festival.

Jax peeks from his stroller along the corn maze.

The kids enjoyed rolling these pumpkins around.
They would have done it the whole time if we had let them.
It's the simple things in life that are fun, I guess.

Going for a hay ride. The kids did not so much enjoy it.

Petting a cow. The cow's friendliness made Ben a little nervous but Sadie loved it. She's such an animal person.

Two second after this picture was taken I hit the ground and
stumbled and made a huge fool of myself in front of a lot of people. So embarrassing!

CARAMEL APPLES FHE

For FHE we had the kids try on their costumes to see if they'd fit. They loved it. Sadie especially! Then we made caramel apples. Also, we had planned to carve pumpkins but ran out of time. We still need to do that, come to think of it. .

My 'helpers' feed each other sprinkles.

Sadie only wants to be a princess or a bunny.
So she was a bunny for Trunk or Treat and she's going to dress up as a princess tonight.
She loves it! She's such a girly girl.

These are just his PJs but aren't they cute?

Joy School

Sadie had a blast with all the activities at the special Halloween Joy School that Tiffany hosted. They painted pumpkins, made pumpkins out of orange rice crispy treats, trick or treated in Tiffany's upstairs, had a lesson about brushing teeth (Tiffany is a dental hygenist), and more. Sadie's been talking about it ever since.

They each had bags and knocked on doors in the upstairs to 'Trick or Treat'.

Trying to insert scary teeth. Sadie's look of confusion cracks me up.

Making the rice crispy treat pumpkins.

The four kids posing in their costumes. From left to right: Noah, Issac, Sadie, and Emerson.

Trunk or Treat

I love her little expression in this picture.

I debated between a caption that said, 'Eat more chicken' or 'Got Milk?'

Jax couldn't say trick or treat so he would walk up and bark, 'ruff ruff'. So darling!

Ben and the kids with Sadie Tee after trunk or treating.

We're excited for the real thing tonight. Happy Halloween!

Baby McKay

2011-10-25T12:52:00.001-04:00

To say I am in love with this little baby would be the biggest understatement of the century. I am infatuated, obsessed, smitten, just painfully in love with him. Love does multiply with each child, it doesn't divide (thanks Shannon for the quote). The kids and I get so excited when he wakes up and they love to help with him, hug him, and make him smile. McKay enjoys the attention and is patient with his siblings and performs quite well.

So, here's a little bit about the new little guy.....

He's amazing at putting himself to sleep. The other two needed to be rocked to sleep. But when McKay is tired I just lay him on my bed, put a blanket on him, go about my routine, and I'll check on him 5 or 10 minutes later and he's peacefully put himself to sleep. No tears or anything. What a blessing!

He's a homebody. At church or my mom's house or at stores he can be demanding and challenging but at home he is almost always content and happy.

He's a mama's boy. Ben has watched him a few times when I've needed to do something and each time has been a bit of a disaster. Ben says he senses when I'm gone and cries the whole time. Poor kiddo! I have noticed, mostly when he's tired, that he likes for me to hold him. I don't think he's as extreme as poor Ben thinks he is, though.

He loves to nurse laying down. At church this past Sunday he went nearly the whole three hours without nursing even though he was hungry because he didn't want to nurse with me sitting up. Go figure! He just gets fussier and hungrier but when I try he won't latch and cries. It doesn't bother me to nurse him laying down at home but I wish he would be happy when we're out and about to nurse regularly. Usually he does just fine but there have been several times he gets mad and refuses. Not sure what to do about that.

He's starting to sleep more at night. Twice he's made it 7 hours and he even made it 9 hours two nights ago. He goes to bed around 7:15 and I usually wake him around 11 to eat when I'm going to bed. Then he wakes up around 4 and I fed him on one side and usually we both fall asleep in bed but he starts getting fidgety an hour later so I feed him on the other side and move him back to his bed. Not bad, huh? I can handle that pretty easily.

He's becoming more of a baby and less of a newborn. He can hold his head up, smiles, and follows me with his eyes as I walk around a room. I'm actually quite sad not to have a newborn. I so much enjoyed it this time! I know it will be a while before we have another one (yes, I want another one, hopefully that will happen one day) and I'm sad to see the newborn phase ending.

He nurses often during the day. Well, I think it's normal but everyone tells me it's often. He usually eats every two hours and fifteen minutes. Of course, I don't really try to hold him off. When he's hungry I'm happy to feed him so it doesn't bother me that he nurses often. I feel the need to plump him up.

So there you have it. He's only two and a half months so there's not a whole lot to report. Pretty much we just love him. A lot! A lot, a lot, a lot. I feel like the older two get me worked up and McKay always calms me back down. He's just so sweet. He smells so good. He's so wonderful.

Truthfully, when I found out I was pregnant with McKay I was disappointed because I thought I'd never be able to give this little baby (and the older ones) the love and attention they deserve. But not so! I feel like each one has had to compromise a few things but what they're getting in return is so much better. McKay especially.....I feel like he's quite advantaged, so loved, and just the perfect addition to our family. He and Jax will be wonderful friends and have so many fun times together. And it's quite convenient for me to have them close - they'll share clothes, do similar recreational activities, and keep on eye on each other for me. I feel blessed. So blessed!

Randomness

2011-10-20T22:51:00.001-04:00

Things are looking up again in the world. Either my kids read the post and corrected their behavior or someone out there is praying for me or something. Sadie and Jax both took 2 or 3 hour naps on Monday and Tuesday of this week. It was delightful! And they're much more pleasant to be around in the afternoons when they're well rested. I'm loving motherhood again. I love my little babies. Is it time for another one yet Ben? Just kidding :)

Thanks to Lori's comments in a previous post I've instituted "OPERATION: Independence" this week. I'm trying to teach Sadie more things and help her find ways to meet her own needs (and Jax's when possible). It's going great. Today she learned how to fast forward through commercials :) Always a helpful skill to know. I'm also buying a taller step stool so she can reach the faucet to wash her hands by herself and I've been trying to keep fresh bottles/sippy cups in the fridge so she can get herself or Jax one when they need it. That's helped! I can see the look of pride on Sadie's face each time she is able to be independent. It's been a great change for both of us.

In other news the kids and I have started our first ever garden out back. We went to Lowe's and bought 2x6x10's and Ben built us a little plot. You should have seen me walking through the store. I had three kids (two of which were crying/fussing at any given time - Jax wanted out of the cart, Sadie wanted a different cart, and McKay wanted to be held). I was walking around with lumber double the length of the cart, carrying a baby in my arms, and pushing the cart with one hand. It was embarrassing! Those Mr. Fix It Men gave me some strange looks. It didn't help that Sadie kept saying quite loudly, "Mommy be careful....Don't hurt that man, Mommy....Mommy, you're going to hit that." *slap to head* Awe, kids. Gotta love 'em. And she walks around waving to everyone as if she's on a float in a parade. She is quite the kiddo.

I'm becoming a homebody because of incidents like the one above. When I'm home I can usually keep everyone happy. Also, McKay is usually a good baby when we're home but he is very challenging when we go places. The other two would fall asleep in the car or sleep in their car seat in a store. Not McKay. Nope! So, I'm learning it's easier and best to just be home, and I'm actually enjoying it too. With the cooler fall weather we've been spending lots of time outside and it's great. So relaxing! So, I'm a homebody now and loving it. Well, most of the time.

Now may I take a moment to thank my mother-in-law. Dear Cliffie, the greatest thing you've ever done for me (other than creating and raising your stellar son) is to have moved Sadie's bed time earlier. She is asleep by 8PM every night. I love it! I've never had this much discretionary time in all my mommy life. It's honestly what gets me through the days. I know once 8 o'clock hits I am actually done for the day. Well, at least until night feedings begin. It's really quite heavenly and has made all the difference in my life. Thank you, thank you, and thank you!

Guess what we're going to be for Halloween. We're going for the Wizard of Oz theme! Dorothy, Tin Man, Scarecrow, Wicked Witch, Todo (sp?), and the wizard or cowardly lion. I'm very excited. We're going to a fall festival/pumpkin patch this weekend. FHE on Monday will include pumpkin carving and caramel covered apples as our treat. I love holidays. I especially love holidays with little kids around. They make everything more exciting. You know what I'm REALLY excited for.....Christmas! I already have wrapped presents on top of the piano and I may have even asked Ben if we can set up the Christmas tree. He wants to wait a little longer, though. I'm trying to be patient. I'm so, so, so excited for the hap-happiest season of all!

One more thought. It helps me to put this in writing. I had started "OPERATION: Weight Loss McKay" (I'm really into calling things 'Operations' lately) but things had stalled due to a cold we came down with a few weeks ago. Well, I'm starting again. That's all. I've got a loooonnnnnngggggggg ways to go. Like how about 20 lbs. Yikes! But, I'm starting. It's slightly overwhelming to me, but it's time to make progress. I feel like I'm trying to lose baby weight from two pregnancies instead of just one because I never really lost if after Jax. If anyone has any weight loss tips - please share ;) Much thanks. Greatly appreciated. Eat less, exercise more is a logical tip, wouldn't you say? So simple, yet challenging.

My Children Are Loved

2011-10-17T00:15:00.000-04:00

I feel stressed. All. Of. The. Time! Three is so much more than two. Let me repeat that for emphasis, okay? Three is SO MUCH MORE than two.

Things had started out pretty good, but the last two weeks have been challenging. Even with Natalie here and having an extra set of hands I still couldn't keep the house clean, food on the table, and kids happy.

In the not so distant past I think I was a really nice, patient mom. Now I constantly feel impatient and snippity. That makes me feel guilty. Then I feel sad. I'm worried I'm failing my children miserably.

It seems that no matter how hard I try I just can't seem to keep all three happy. To hear one upset and not be able to immediately solve their problem is so frustrating and leaves me feeling guilty. This is how I sound all day, every day: "Sadie give Jax his toy back", "Jax, I know you need a bottle, just one second buddy", "Sadie have you gone potty?", "Jax don't climb up on the chair", "McKay, I'll be right there", "I know you're hungry Sadie, let me finish feeding McKay and we'll have lunch", "Sadie keep your hands to yourself, please", "Jax I know you're sleepy, I'll rock you to sleep right after I get McKay down", "No Sadie, you've already seen three shows today, no more TV", "Hold on McKay, I'll be right there", "Sadie stop touching your brother", "Oh Jax, did that hurt, let mommy finish nursing McKay and I'll hold you"....yada yada yada. By 6 o'clock I feel like my nerves are shot and I'm about to blow a fuse. And it seems like no matter how hard I try I still can't meet everyone's needs throughout the day. I feel so guilty about that. Have I mentioned that yet?

So, these are the things my prayers consist of lately:
~Please let them remember the giggles, games, and good times of their childhood and not the tears and tantrums!
~Please help them to feel my love more than my frustrations.
~Please let them learn good things when I'm unable to immediately meet one of their needs - patience, independence, resourcefulness, problem solving, and understanding.
~Please help them to know they're loved. I've heard it said that to a child love is spelled T-I-M-E. I've always tried to spend a lot of quality time with each one but I just can't these days. Hopefully they'll know how much I love them even if I can't give them my undivided attention all the time.
~Please help me to feel calm and happy and set an atmosphere of peacefulness in our home.

As I was looking through pictures tonight though I realized that my children are so loved by so many. And they know they're so loved. Not just by me but by their dad, grandmas, grandpa, uncles, aunts, cousins, and friends. They are so loved and cherished. So, I'll just keep trying my best and hopefully they will feel my love and all will be well.

.

Boys' Stats

2011-10-16T23:24:00.001-04:00

We had doctor's appointments for the boys this past week (two month and 15 month checkups). Here's where they're at lately......

McKay - 2 months

Height: 22 3/4 inches, 35%

Weight: 12 lbs. 6 oz., 50%

Jax - 15 months

Height: 30 1/2 inches, 30%

Weight: 23 lbs 14 oz., 40%

They both needed shots and Jax fought with all the might he had. It was awful. Thankfully Natalie was with us and took McKay and Sadie out to the waiting room so I could focus on Jax.

Both are very healthy. I have been very worried about Jax's head lately. He has started to develop ridges along the suture lines and they had previously been worried about craniosyntosis. The pediatrician said he was fine and there's nothing to worry about. What a relief!

As an interesting sidenote: McKay weighed at 6 weeks what Sadie weighed at 6 months. She was the tiniest little baby.

Also, do you find it shocking that Jax is only in the 30th and 40th percentiles? There must me some really BIG kids out there if that's where he falls.

O Natalie, Where Art Thou?

2011-10-16T23:09:00.000-04:00

O Natalie, where are thou?

Thou hast traversed the great divide.

Relief from the strain of parenthood thou didst provide.

With sleepless nights and early mornings.

Did we not give thee fair enough warning?

The opportunity for us to nap, thou didst supply.

Those naps breathed life, or else we would die.

When it was time for the school called "Joy"

I took the girl and thou took the boy(s).

O what fun we had with the bubbles

And with the popcorn we had no trouble.

Not once did thou wish for fun or outing.

"Sufficient," you said, "Just to watch the kids sprouting."

We thought to ourselves, "What would she like?"

The Tampa singles ward? Maybe she'll meet a nice guy named Mike!

Or the beach for a beautiful sunset.

But alas, it was too cold to get wet.

One evening thou didst watch the li'l ones,

Whilst we dated and had our great funs.

Our house thou didst decorate,

The payment not even close to commensurate.

When wilt thou return to us?

Without thee our life is such a bust.

O what happiness thou wilt bring,

To the prince who'll someday bequeath thee a ring.

And to the li'l poppers which thou wilt create,

What an amazing mother, they will say "She's great!"

Holding Hands

2011-09-28T22:39:00.000-04:00

While doing Ring Around the Rosie during story time at the library a few weeks ago I heard a little boy complaining about Sadie not holding his hand correctly. I glanced over to see what she was doing and she had him gripped around the wrist. He kept trying to grab her hand and she just kept holding tight to his wrist. I thought this was strange but didn't give much more thought to it. A few days ago I was out on a walk with Sadie taking random pictures of 'Everyday Life Moments' (as I think of them) and happened to take this picture:

Then it hit me. I always hold my children's hands with my index finger in their palm and the rest of my hand around their wrist. That way if they trip I have a strong hold and they won't fall and get hurt. Do all parents do this? I honestly don't know.

Well, I was taking pictures again today and Sadie was trying to hold Jax's hand. It brought a smile to my face to see Sadie's strange hand holding grip and Jax walking along thinking it was perfectly normal to be held by the wrist.

Can't you just see them as teenagers one day trying to hold their dates' hands this way? I've messed them up. Poor little things!

As a side note, a friend once mentioned one of their greatest joys in life is the feeling of holding a child's hand. I've tried and tested it and - YES! - it's the sweetest feeling. Wouldn't you agree?

My Rear View Mirror

2011-09-28T21:56:00.001-04:00

It's sure hard to focus on my driving when I've got a view like this in my rear view mirror. Such cuteness!

An Evening at the Pool

2011-09-24T23:50:00.001-04:00

Summer is starting to draw to a close. I will be sad to see it go. We love our evenings at the pool. It's such a refreshing and calming end to a beautiful summers day. It will be nice to have cooler fall weather soon, though. We'll be able to take walks and visit the parks again. That will be fun, too. And soon enough it will be summer again and we'll be able to take all three kiddos swimming. There are great times up ahead, that's for sure.

Bug Bite

2011-09-24T23:40:00.001-04:00

Jax got a bug bite on his forehead and his eye lid swelled up. Would you be worried? He's been getting quite a few bites lately and we can't figure out what type of bites they are or where they're coming from. Poor little man! I feel like an unfit parent.

Weeki Wachi Springs Park

2011-09-23T21:51:00.000-04:00

We celebrated another birthday in our family this past week. Ben turned the big 3-2! Wow....we are sure getting old.

I convinced Ben to take the day off of work. Originally I was going to be at my mom's house for Joy School and the plan was to let Ben have the morning all to himself to be free and do whatever his heart desired. However, Jax came down with a cold (only his third, I'm proud to say) so we couldn't be around the other kids. So, we've been wanting to go to Weeki Wachi Springs Park for a while and decided it would be a good day to go. They have a little water park area, underwater theater, shows, and a boat ride. It really wasn't the coolest of places but we had a blast. Well, I had a blast. I'm not sure about everyone else. Sadie kept saying, "Let's go to the park now." I had to explain to her we were at the park. She thought there would be swings and slides. Apparently mermaids, alligators, and boats aren't nearly as fun as swings and slides. Oh well :) I think she still enjoyed the experience.

This was during the show. The toddlers had no idea what to think about the experience.
A wicked witch jumped out like 5 seconds after this pictures was taken and scared the kids to death -
McKay especially. I had to take him out.

Ben made the comment that he felt like we were one of the main attractions at the park. There were probably a grand total of 20 people there and only one child other than our three. All 20 of us would caravan from show to show and everyone was watching us and our kids just as much as they were watching the entertainment. The park must be government funded because I don't think our entrance fees could have even covered the cost of the employees that day!

Anyways, the next show was all about animals and afterwards they let the audience (all 20 of us) pet their alligator. Sadie was very excited and showed little apprehension. She really loves all types of animals! Unlike her brother who is content to watch from a distance.

Notice his mouth is not bound.
After I let her pet the alligator I thought maybe I should have been more careful.
Even the little ones can do some damage!

We went on our boat ride along the springs after the animals show. It was beautiful along the river and so relaxing. Jax and McKay became so relaxed that they both fell asleep. Sadie just kept asking if we were going to go the the park soon...."We're at the park, Sadie." She just wanted swings and slides though. Kids nowadays! Anyways, Ben and I quite enjoyed ourselves.

When we arrived back home Ben took a nice, long nap. I'm pretty sure that was his most favorite present and happiest time of the day :) I made Chicken Cordon Bleu for dinner, then we watched Anastasia with the kids, and then watched Jane Eyre once the kids were asleep. It was a fun day. The following pictures I snapped while we waited for dinner to finish cooking....

He really is so painfully cute!

Touchdown! (We weren't watching BYU football I would assume :) )

Jax fell asleep yet again during dinner. He was really worn out. Poor kid!

I love Ben. I LOVE Ben's babies! I love where we're at in life. I have chosen my love and I love my choice.

Joy School

2011-09-16T09:09:00.000-04:00

Sadie had her first day of Joy School this past Wednesday.

She would not pose with this sign. This was the best picture I could capture!
Does it look like a mug shot to you?

Joy School is just a value based parent led preschool. We're actually only doing it once a week and then once a week we're going to do a lesson with just our own child at home. I think this is the perfect thing for Sadie. She's definitely not ready for 'real' preschool but I felt like I wanted to get her in some type of slightly structured program. I hope she'll like it. All three moms stayed the first week, I'm teaching next week, and the week after she'll need to fly solo. I hope there won't be tears :)

Captured quickly as we were leaving for Joy School.
She would only wear this dress and loved wearing her backpack.

She was not thrilled about going. I've been mentioning it to her for the past week and she would get upset and tell me, "No, I don't want to go." On her first morning she refused to get dressed, eat breakfast, go to the bathroom, etc. It was quite a fight to get her out the door and we were 20 minutes late because of it. However, once we got there she had a fabulous time. They had free play, did painting, had their lesson, read books, had a snack, and played tag outside. The other two students, Emerson and Issac, were fabulous with her and included her in everything. I think she'll love it once she warms up to the idea of it! Yeah for Joy School!

The Little Engine That Could

2011-09-15T22:43:00.001-04:00

Guess who road her little tricycle all the way to the park and back.....

She kept talking to her bike also. "Come on bike, come up here," "Wait here bike. I'll be right back." It was pretty funny.

Ben and I were shocked she went so far. It was probably a mile round trip. She made it look easy and sure seemed pleased with herself for going so far. Our little girl is growing up *sniff, sniff*.

Dear Grandma Cliffie

2011-09-12T22:49:00.000-04:00

Dear Grandma,

I cried my eyes out the whole drive home from the airport. Finally Mom told me if I would stop crying that I could watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Well, I did stop after that, but my heart was still sad inside.

Your bed is still sitting in my room and I look at it longingly and ask my mom if you are coming back. She says you are but she's not sure when....maybe Christmas or sometime next year? That will be so fun! I sure liked having you as a roommate. It made me feel safe and happy.

It was also fun to have my hair done so beautifully every day. I think it's really amazing how you can sleep with those weird circles things in your hair. Are you sure they don't hurt your head?

I had so much fun at the pool, at the baseball game, and at the library. Mom's too nervous to go out by herself with us three kids and I miss going places and doing things. She'll get brave again soon though I think.

I love you,

Sadester

******************************************

Dear Grandma Fhe-Fhe,

Boy do I miss you!

I sure get a lot of nice compliments about my new haircut. You did a very nice job. Hopefully Mom will be able to remember what you taught her so I can always have nicely trimmed hair.

When I was crying in my crib tonight I thought of you and how you rocked me to sleep. I thought, "If Grandma were here she wouldn't let me cry." But Dad said he had already rocked me for 45 minutes and enough was enough. But don't worry - I only cried for 5 minutes and then went to sleep. I just do it because I like their attention :) I'm not really upset though!

Sadie says that you're probably going to come visit at Christmas! Is it true?!?! I'll sure be looking forward to you reading me books, playing with the balls, and cooking us yummy food. I won't forget you - I promise!

Your loving perfect grandson,

Jax

******************************************************

Oh Grandma Cliffie,

My mom fed me way more often and was sure a lot happier when you were around! Now she keeps telling me to 'hold on' and 'wait just a minute'. It's just not the same without you here.

But Jax told me that you are definitely coming at Christmas! I'm so excited. I'll try not to change too much in the next few months. Mom says I'm not allowed to grow up and I'm trying not to but it just keeps happening. I'll try harder though.

It was nice how you always held me and made me smile. You're sure a great grandma and I really love you.

Why does my mom always dress me in embarrassing outfits?
Will you talk to her about that?

See you soon,

Baby McKay

**************************************

We love you Grandma Cliffie!

Thanks for coming and thanks for all your help!!!

McKay is blessed....so are you :)

2011-09-05T14:24:00.002-04:00

Yesterday (9.4.11) was McKay's baby blessing day. The poor little fella cried his eyes out. He started with a low whimper and by the end he was howling. As soon as Ben handed him back to me he fell right to sleep in my arms and was good the rest of the meeting. Ben did a beautiful job, as always.

We dressed him in dark pants, white shirt, and tie - his father's request. He looked like a little missionary. It was darling.

The family congregated to our home after the meetings where we had a nice meal and lovely conversation. I really do enjoy living close to family and having get togethers. It's also great to have their support for events like this.

I hope McKay knows how much we love him and how blessed he is to have such a great extended family. We sure adore the little guy!

I find this photo hilarious.
We had a very difficult time getting the kids to stay in position and this was the best we got.
They were two hours late for their naps and not in a cooperative mood.
Do you see Jax trying to eat grass, Sadie's pouty face, and
McKay looking stressed with his hand to his forehead? Funny, I think.

Sadie was in a full, wailing cry by this point. Poor kid was worn out!

Random Post

2011-08-29T23:20:00.001-04:00

Quick update....

I think I'm settling into my new life. Thank goodness I've had so much help! Hopefully I'll be able to do nice things for other people one day instead of just taking, taking, taking from everyone :)

Cliffie comes to town tomorrow. YEAH! I'm super excited for the help and company. Ben and I have generated a long list of To Do When Cliffie Comes items.

My mom gave me a gift certificate as a baby present for a cleaning service and they came to clean my house today. How awesome is that?!?!? It was great. Too bad it will never happen again.

Sadie fell off a 6 or 7 foot landing last night at the park. She landed squarely on her back and the wind got knocked out of her and she passed out a little and had trouble coming back to. I thought I was going to die! She's fine though and perfectly normal and happy today. Thank goodness!!!

Here are random pictures from our lives lately....

We went with Cricchio to Bishop's farm to feed the horses. Sadie LOVES animals!

McKay slept in the car and my mom helped with Jax. Jax HATES animals.
You can't entirely tell in this pictures but he was crying to get away from the horse.

They also had these fun kid rides to play on. It was great fun!

The kids and I have had to get creative with all this extra time we have at the house.
One day I traced their cute little bodies and we made this lift size portrait of them.

It looks just like him, huh?

We've been reading a lot of books! I think we have them all memorized now.

Jax doesn't like to sleep but loves to play with his trucks during his naptime.

This dry pasta, bowls, and spoons kept them occupied for nearly two hours!

These two totally love each other!

Julie, James, and Joseph came up earlier this week to help me out.
I was able to get loads done and the kids had a blast!
Julie also went grocery shopping and made us a delicious dinner. Thanks Julie ;

Jax so has Ben's personality!

He loves to do his flips!

Cute little McKay with my dad.

Is it time for another one Joe?

James is learning to walk. Guess how old he is....8 months. WOW!

Learning the fundamentals of the great game of baseball.

All day long..."Can I hold him?"

Sadie: "Alicia (as she calls me) can you give me that book so I can read to MoeKay" (as she calls him).

Jax saying, "Cheese" as he waits to go to church.

Yes, I've finally started the repentance process for all those Oreos I ate.

He's the best dad ever. The kids can't leave him alone.

She's growing up so quickly! This was just before her fall.

He loves to go down the slides - Jax that is.

This picture was taken by Ben. Very nice Ben!

Another Ben picture. I like the motion of the sand.

I'm plump but this is me after having 3 babies in 4 years. Will I ever be skinny again?

I am completely 100% in love with this baby!!!

He's lovely wouldn't you say? If only he slept at night *sigh*.

Okay, that's the end of my randomness. Life is good, oh so good! Crazy but good :)

Life with 3

2011-08-22T22:28:00.001-04:00

It was the best of times, it was the busiest of times, it was the age of giggles, it was the age of tears, it was the epoch of obedience, it was the epoch of rebellion, it was the season of sleepless nights, it was the season of sleepy days, it was the spring of hope, it is now the summer of survival, it will soon be the autumn of hope.

So, people keep asking me how things are going. Hard to answer that question. Usually things are going pretty good. There are two stressful times of the day: 12-1PM and 4-6PM. But, thankfully, I've had lots of help and the children are still alive and thriving.

Sadie has good and bad moments all through the day - hence, the introduction. She is starting to be a little aggressive towards Jax and is not sharing as well as she once had. I'm trying my best to be patient, but I know she knows how to behave and it's bothering me that she's not always making better choices. Part of the problem is I'm fiercely protective of Jax and it really upsets me when she is unkind to him, so maybe I make too big a deal of things I just can't tolerate the least bit of unkindness. And usually she is pretty good. In the mornings she loves to hold him (see picture below) and they play together nicely in her room. But, by late afternoon things start to fall apart. Any advice or tips you have would be welcomed :)

Jax loves Sadie's attention!

Thankfully, Jax is extremely patient and loving with everyone and everything. He definitely struggles and is more prone to fussiness in the late afternoon but he is usually happy the rest of the day. He is in a really adorable stage right now and I just can't get enough of his cute personality. I worry I'm not giving him as much attention as he deserves, but I don't think he minds being a little more independent.

Then there's McKay. Why have I not appreciated newborns until now? With Sadie and Jax I felt so stressed during those early weeks. It felt like a time to endure and get through. This time around I am loving it! I just want to sit and rock him all day long. He is a fabulous nurser, but not a fabulous sleeper. I jokingly say to Ben, "We spent way too much time praying for a nursing child and not nearly enough time praying for a sleepy child." I don't mind much, though. I just sit and rock and nurse and think, "Please don't grow up, please don't grow up." Although, he has just developed a skin infection with little blisters on his abdomen which reminds me how fragile newborns are and now I'm thinking it would be nice to have him older and stronger so I won't worry so much about his health.

Anyways, he's a really good baby and quite handsome. He came out looking like the other two but has a completely unique look to him now. He cluster feeds all afternoon from 4 - 8PM, but other than during that time he is quite content. He definitely loves to be held but I don't mind holding him. Every morning he looks different and bigger. As of Friday, when we has two and a half weeks old, he was up to 9 lbs. and 3 ozs. He's growing quickly but I'm trying my best to enjoy him as much as possible while he's so sweet and tiny.

People are so nice!

2011-08-12T15:36:00.001-04:00

I have been totally overwhelmed by the amount of people that have offered to help since the baby has been born. There are so many really good people in the world. I'm not always on the needy/receiving end of assistance, so I've been really touched by the generosity and kindness of others in my 'time of need'. I was very worried about how this newborn period would go, but so far, it's been amazingly wonderful thanks to the support of everyone.

McKay has been a been a wonderful newborn, although, he does wake up frequently at night to eat. We had his check up today and they said his growth was off the charts. He's been gaining 2 - 3 ounces a day. Apparently I produce very rich milk, and I guess all those night feedings are paying off. He's a sweet, happy little guy. And I know we just had a newborn a year ago, but it really is fun to have a newborn in the house again.

Sadie and Jax are doing great! Sadie still adores the baby and Jax has been loving having Ben home to play with so much. Ben's working two more half days next week and then I'm flying solo. But, again, so many people have offered to help that I don't feel alone at all. Let me see if I can list all the nice things that people have offered to do for us. Hopefully I can remember it all.

My parents have helped in countless ways! Here's a sampling: when we arrived home they had the house all clean, dinner ready, laundry done, pantry full, and kids happy. My mom has been coming up to help with the kids and let me rest while Ben is at work. She took Sadie on a little date on Wednesday to shop and get her hair cut. They bring us food or send us home with leftovers. Bought us a $50 giftcard for an Italian restaurant so we can get take out on the nights dinner is too stressful to make. Etc., etc., etc.! They are always doing something to help. I'm so grateful for them!!
Marie Enfante is bringing us dessert tonight and coming over to socialize. I love to socialize!
Dinners are being brought in my Sisters Ernest, Blank, and Martinez. What a great help that is and this is my first time accepting the meals and I'm quite excited.
Cricchio is always doing something helpful whether it's jumping my car battery, babysitting my children at midnight so I could go to the hospital, or taking Sadie on play dates. This morning she picked up Sadie and took her to the pool. Sadie had a blast and is taking a great nap because of it!
Katie Tickner has also offered to watch Sadie and has helped answer nursing questions. We're going there on Tuesday so Sadie and Jax can run off some energy.
Dawn Hodges has also offered her boys babysitting services and to watch Sadie and Jax so I can nap! I've also appreciated her advice and supportive messages.
Bishop Smith who has been so flexible and understanding about Ben missing church lately. He has so much on his plate and Ben always feels bad he can't do more to help him.
Sherry Wood gave us a donation of clothes, shoes, and baby supplies. Jax is sporting some adorable little shoes now thanks to her.
Jenny Andersen has offered numerous times to babysit the kids so I could take a nap.
Lori Emery who provided most of Jax's wardrobe which will now be McKay's wardrobe. The clothes are adorable and still in excellent condition. Did I mention they are adorable? They are the cutest little clothes. I'm so excited to have another boy so I can dress him up in all those great outfits again.
Sarah who took pictures at the hospital and is coming up on Monday to take newborn pictures. Is there anything greater than a great picture of the ones you love? I think not! She has also offered to come up and take Sadie to the park.
Natalie, Ben's sister, has offered to fly out to help with the kids. She is absolutely amazing with newborns and always fun to be with. Do you think you'll still be able to come Natalie?
Julie, who has over an hours commute, is also going to come up and entertain the kids one day and has offered to make a meal. Sadie always enjoys playing with Joseph!
Cliffie is coming from August 30th through September 9th to help with the kids! I can't wait. I already have a list of things I want to get done while she's here. She's a tremendous help and very easy to have around.
Christy who came during those final weeks of the pregnancy to help out. I seriously would have opted to be induced had she not come and provided a much needed distraction and some much needed rest!
All the kind comments, letters, and messages from people - Shannon, Raven, Sharla, Melanie, Becky, Grandma Johnson, Cliffie, and other friends and family. They really were such a boost to me in those final weeks of pregnancy!

Anyways, I'm sure I could go on and will be thinking of more things all afternoon and kicking myself for forgetting to list it, but do you get the idea? People are SO, SO, SO nice!! It's really quite touching. Hopefully I'll be able to return the favors one day or at least pay it forward.

Now, a few pictures of little McKay.....

2 days old

4 days old, first time at the dock

5 days old

First time at the park, look how tiny he is.

1 week old

Then you have the big brother.....

He seems to have grown up over night!

He's as happy and pleasant as ever!

McKay's Birth Story

2011-08-05T23:23:00.001-04:00

It happened. It finally happened. I'm so happy it happened! We have our happy, healthy little baby. He's perfect. He's adorable. He was so worth the wait! Here's how it all went down....

Background information: The day before McKay was born had been a difficult one. Jax had been teething and had been awake and uncomfortable much of the night before. Consequently he couldn't make it through the day without two naps, which is very unusual for him. Ben started bedtime routine with him around 8:00PM while I took Sadie on a nice relaxing walk. However, Jax wasn't the least bit sleepy. So, the kids ended up getting each other all hyper and played chase and tackled Ben and rough housed until about 9:30PM. At that time I took Sadie and started getting her ready for bed and Ben took Jax and put him down for the night. I emerged from Sadie's room at exactly 10:09PM and announced to Ben, "Victory"! We both laughed and commented how pathetic is it that the kids are so off their schedule and talked about how it will be nice to have this baby and get regulated again. Little did we know that we would be holding our newborn in exactly 4 hours from that conversation.

So, we were in the bedroom a few minutes later. Ben was flipping through a baby name book and I was working on a blog post. During the post I had one really strong contraction which I mentioned to Ben. I had been having braxton hicks throughout the evening but that's been really normal for me lately and I really don't even notice them anymore.

11:39PM - Ben falls asleep within 30 seconds of laying down. I even tapped on his face to be sure, and yup - he was out immediately.

11:41PM - So, I was laying there and felt another really strong contraction. During it I felt a pop and I knew! I knew my water my broken. There wasn't an immediate gush of fluid, but as soon as the contraction let up - sure enough, wetness! For about 2 minutes I laid there just thinking and preparing and praying. Thoughts included: I'm so excited, I'm scared, thank you, help the baby to be healthy, help me handle the pain, and more excitement! So then I got up to use the restroom and was relieved to see the fluid was clear.

11:44PM - I woke Ben up and happily announced, "My water just broke!" Ben says I was grinning from ear to ear. He jumped up out of bed quickly and was just as excited as I was. I called my parents and told them to leave right away. Then I jumped in the shower to freshen up. Ben started gathering last minute items and called the midwife. The midwife felt that I shouldn't wait for my parents to arrive but find someone to watch the kids so we could leave immediately. By this point my contractions were starting to get more regular and more intense. We debated whether or not we should wait until my parents arrived, but in the end we decided to call to our good friend Cricchio, who lives in our neighborhood and asked her to stay with the kids until my parents arrived. Thankfully, she was happy to do so, and she arrived in a flash.

12:15AM - With the last few items packed in the car we headed for hospital. When we left for the hospital contractions had just started getting regular and were about 5 - 6 minutes apart. The drive to the hospital was fun. We called my parents again, Ben's mom, and texted the family to let them know it was finally time. Ben enjoyed running all the red lights, and consequently, we made excellent time.

1:15AM - Finally arrived at the hospital. By this point my contractions were getting more intense and were coming every 3 minutes and lasting for a solid minute. I was still rather comfortable for the most part. When a contraction would come on I would just say to Ben, "Time for a moment of silence." And then it would pass and we would continue our conversation. However, what I didn't enjoy was sitting in my wet shorts! My fluids were definitely running and were more than I could contain. So, when we arrived the midwife, Debbie, was there to meet us and after completing some paper work took us to our room. At this point we also met our nurse Angie. While Angie was a very nice older lady, we were not overly impressed with her work. One of the first things I asked for was a simple drink of water. She said she would get one for me. About 20 minutes later I finally got my drink of water, after Debbie realized it probably was never going to happen and took it upon herself to get me one. Anyways, I'm sure she's a lovely person, but she was more of a bystander in the room rather than a helpful assistant.

1:25AM - They hooked me up to the monitor, said the baby looked good, and measured my contractions at 3 minutes apart. Debbie checked me and reported I was 7 cm dilated, fully effaced and -1 station. At this point contractions were very strong and all I wanted was calm silence. Angie didn't seem to catch on and she kept trying to ask me questions right in the middle of contractions, or she insisted on getting some last minute signatures. So the next 20 minutes were spent with my asking for silence and Angie drawing blood, having me sign paper work, putting in an IV line, yada yada. It was a long 20 minutes!

1:45PM - I started to feel more intense pressure and I knew the time would be soon at hand which I told to everyone in the room. Ben told Angie to get the mid-wife. After some prodding, Angie finally called for Debbie. When Debbie came in she checked me and I was 9cm dilated. She started to make the final preparations. At this point I started getting nervous which I told to Ben and Debbie. I knew it was almost time and I was starting to get really uncomfortable and I was dreading what was about to happen. They told me it would be fine and I was doing great and things were going quickly but I was still dreading all the pain that I knew I was about to feel.

1:55PM - Again I said that it wasn't time to push yet but I was getting close. In fact I even said, "It's not time yet, but I'm about two contractions away from needing to push."

2:01PM - Sure enough, true to my word, I was ready to push. Debbie said not to push because she still wasn't ready. I hate it when they say that! In her defense, she was trying to do her job and Angie's job and get the pediatric nurse to arrive. Ben kept trying to help with preparations while Debbie continually asked him not to help because she needed to keep the area sterile. At one point she turned to me and said, "Geez, is he this helpful at home?" I was in la-la-pain-land and didn't know what they were talking about and just replied, "Yes, he's a very involved parent." Ben and I laughed about that afterwards. Anyways, I needed to push and finally couldn't not push.

2:03PM - Ben overruled Debbie's orders and told me I could just let it come and to push if I felt like I needed to push. So, push I did! After 4 very long and very painful minutes the head emerged. Debbie told me to hang-on until she could clear the mouth and nose. One more push and the rest of the body was delivered! Oh excruciating happiness!!

Can you feel my happy pain?

No wonder it hurt so much to push him out!

2:07AM - Debbie excitedly announced "It's a boy!" It was a moment of total shock, relief, happiness, and excitement!!! I was so exhausted I couldn't move and just lay there babbling, "Oh thank you. It's a boy? It's a boy! I'm so happy. I'm so happy it's over. Thank you it's over. It's a boy? I can't believe it's a boy!" McKay was perfect and healthy and pink. I held him for quite some time and soaked up the joy of finally being able to hold this baby I had waited so long for. My happiness knew no bounds!

He's been a perfectly happy and well mannered baby since then. He is an amazing combination of what Sadie and Jax looked like as newborns. They love him. We love him. We're home and happy and settling in and so grateful to finally be a family. I'm nervous for the weeks and months ahead but so looking forward to them also! Let the journey begin!

During his bath, 5 hours old.

Sadie absolutely loves him and wants to hold him all of the time!

He looks just like Sadie did as a newborn.

Here he looks just like Jax did as a newborn.

He is yawning in the picture above, not crying.

Love that little baby face!

Still here, still pregnant

2011-08-02T22:49:00.001-04:00

*Warning: Viewer discretion is advised*

This post contains graphic photos of a very pregnant women.

Those that are squeamish may need to look away!!!

41 weeks pregnant (as of tomorrow).

The camera has been fully charged and ready and waiting in the car for the last three weeks. Finally tonight I decided it was time to get it out of the car and take a few pictures. I excitedly thought to myself while packing that camera three weeks ago that the next picture snapped would be of my happy little newborn. Alas, it wasn't meant to be.

So, yes, tomorrow marks 41 weeks for me. I've been 4cm dilated for a week and fully hoped and expected to have a baby by now. They've offered to induce me but I really want to let it happen on it's own this time. The last two pregnancies they didn't give me the option. They said it was medically necessary to induce since Sadie was so small and since Jax had a two vessel cord. I'm rather anti-induction but it's sure hard to remember that when you're 41 weeks pregnant.

The kids definitely know something is up. They have both been waking up a lot at night lately. It's usually only two nights a week that both stay asleep all night long. Thankfully, Ben is a complete saint and he almost always gets up with them.

Sadie keeps me laughing through the days with her cute thoughts and her contagious happiness. Funny things she's said or done recently include:

Telling Jax, "It makes me sad when you make messes. Jax it makes me want to cry!" (Wonder where she's heard that from?)
Insisting that Kimmy rides elephants on her mission because she's seen pictures of Ben riding elephants when he was on his mission in India.
At dinner the other night my mom offered her tomatoes for her taco, Sadie's reply: "No Mimi. But thank you very much for asking though."
She tells me all the time, "My baby is going to come out soon, Mom." Me: "Oh good, Sade! Mine too!!"
We were at the mall with my mom a few weeks ago and Sadie needed to use the restroom. My mom needed to go too and offered to take her. So, Sadie went first and then mom started going. Mom says Sadie said in her loudest voice, "Mimi, I can see your pee-pees!!" "I hear your poo-poos coming out, Mimi!" "Wow! You're a good wiper, Mimi!". My mom says she couldn't contain her laughter and just said, "Well, thank you Sadie." Too much information? Probably!

Anyways, she's growing up so quickly and is a completely enjoyable little thing. I think she'll adjust just fine to being a big sister again...at least I hope.

Then there's Jax....

Some days he's a perfect angel and other days he is difficult to handle. I know he senses change is in the air because he won't let me out of his sight. I really can't leave a room without taking him with me. He always wants to be held and/or be involved in what I'm doing. I did discover he has two new molars and I think more are coming through. So, that's been an added stress for the poor little guy lately. Overall he's a pretty obedient and well-behaved baby, especially when he's rested and feels good. He understands a lot of what I say and is usually pretty cooperative.

He's walking like a pro and even starting to run. He loves his new abilities and is able to play and keep up with Sadie more. They love to chase each other around the house.

I'm a little worried about how he'll adjust to being a big brother. He is still such a baby himself! I think he'll mostly ignore the baby. Hopefully he won't be too jealous. I hope I'll have the time and energy to give him all the attention he needs. I just love him to pieces!!

As for Ben, he's tired in life. I know he is. He does so much. As soon as he gets home he is playing with the kids, getting them ready for bed, putting them in bed, picking up toys or doing something helpful. He is amazing! Most nights he is up at least once soothing and comforting a child, which is does extremely well, I might add. He offers to stretch my legs (restless leg syndrome), is always telling me to sit down and relax, and is willing to help in any way possible. Trust me, I know how lucky I am to have him!! He never complains, he always has a happy countenance, and the kids and I just can't get enough of him. I wish I could do more to lighten his load but I feel like I am barely getting through the days and really rely heavily upon him at night. Anyways, he's pretty much perfect.

Then there's me - not so perfect!! I'm impatient, tired, uncomfortable, bulky, needy, and chubby.

I'm really trying my best to cope, but feel like I'm failing miserably. I go to bed every night and think, "Please let this be the night." And, wake up every morning and think, "Ugh, still here! Heavenly Father pleasssse help me through this day!" Thankfully my mom has been extremely helpful. She comes up twice a week and helps with the kids and lets me take a nap. What would I ever do without her? Also, Christy visited last week and helped out tremendously. I definitely would have opted for an induction by now were it not for their help.

I feel like everyone is tired and struggling and the sooner we have this baby the sooner things will start to get back to normal. Well, the new normal. It will probably get harder before it gets easier, but right now I just feel stagnant and I'm ready to move forward. I'm so anxious to meet this baby, discover the gender, and get adjusted to life with three kids.

And yet, I'm also really nervous about handling the demands of three small children. To be honest, I'm downright scared. Surely things will fall into place, but right now I'm just worried about the logistics of it all. I asked an 18 year old/only member/new member in the ward if she would sit with me in church to help out with the kids. That was so hard for me to do! I hate having to ask for help - especially with the kids. I want to be the one to hold them, entertain them, and cope with problems. It is so awful for me to admit that I'm not going to be able to do it by myself. Well, what would probably happen is we would spend most of the time out in the halls and I know that would do a huge disservice to the kids. We only leave sacrament meetings when Jax has a huge meltdown and/or needs a nap (usually the two coincide) and that only happens every two months or so. And, as soon as he's asleep we go straight back in. I really don't want the older two kids to think sacrament meeting is a time to play in the halls or in the mother's lounge....anyways, so I asked for help. We'll see how it goes.

I can't wait to have another baby! I can't wait to inspect it's cute little features! I can't wait to see the kids reactions! I can't wait to smell and kiss a delicious little newborn's head! I can't wait to find out the gender! And, I can't wait to be a normal size and able to hug and hold my kids close again! And yet, waiting is all I'm able to do. And so we go on waiting....

So, there you have it. That's the family update. I'm so, so, so grateful for the two healthy children we have and for my phenomenal husband who has never loved me more. I'm a very blessed person!

Mother's Day Gift

2011-08-02T19:13:00.000-04:00

Ben gave me the most wonderful present for Mother's Day this year. It's taken me a while to remember to take a picture of it, but I finally did so thought I would blog it.

Drum roll, please....

It's a shoe shelf for the garage! He even built it himself. Impressive, wouldn't you say?

Sometimes I feel like it's raining crumbs and dirt in our house. Literally, I could sweep every hour and fill my dustpan. So, I've been wanting to institute a 'no shoes in the house' policy, but I felt I needed an organized place in the garage to put all our shoes before we could start living the new rule.

Well, Ben made my dreams come true!

So, I cleaned all the tile and even scrubbed the grout by hand (it took me three days!) and we've been living shoeless ever since. (Note to self: I still need to get the carpets shampooed.) The floors seem to be and stay at least a little cleaner now. That makes me feel so happy!

Ben, shown above, deep in thought planning out the heights of his shelves.

Ben's little helper Sadie, shown above, giving the plywood a little artistic pizazz.

3 hours + $35 = A much cleaner house and a much happier Alicia!

So, there you have it. My most favorite Mother's Day gift of all time!

Series of Photos

2011-07-23T23:00:00.001-04:00

I think all the pictures in this post were taken within the same hour. They make me laugh and capture what my life is like most days, so I thought I'd share.

************************************

Segment 1: I was in the bedroom setting up the port-a-crib for the new baby when I heard a loud bang. The kids had knocked over the swing I had just carried in from the garage and were 'exploring'.

I can just hear Sadie saying to Jax, "No, no Jaxy - don't touch that" as she is touching it.

Jax: "Hmmm, what's this?"

Jax: "Cool, a binki. Kindof tastes old and yucky but I could get use to this."

Jax: "Yup, I'm definitely putting this in a secret hiding place and saving it for later."

**********************************

Segment 2: I was trying to make dinner and was loading a few dishes when I turned around to find a little helper.

Jax: "What Mom?!? It just looked so inviting."

Jax: "Alright, I'll get out."

Jax: "Steady now, don't fall and hit your head like last time."

Jax: "I wish mom would just leave me naked. These shorts are limiting my range of motion here!"

Jax: "Where are you floor?"

Jax: "Ahh, back on solid ground."

Jax: "Yup, sure thing Mom, I'll close this right up."

Jax: "See, I'm closing it and I won't do it again."

Jax: "Oh cool, I think this is the button I push that makes it make funny swishy sounds. Score!"

**********************************

Segment 3: Ben arrived home while Jax and I were reading books in his room and while dinner was in the oven and Sadie was watching Mickey Mouse club.

Jax: "Now I just want to sit in this chair and read my book."

Jax: "Wait, where'd I put that book?"

Jax: "I know it's around here somewhere!"

Jax: "Oh ya, there it is. This isn't quite what I had in mind though."

Jax: "Mom will you read me this book?"

Ben arrives home. His face ALWAYS lights up when he sees Ben!

I was asking Ben to make him laugh so I could get a few good pictures of him.

After that Jax enjoyed having his dad read to him while I went on my merry way to finish dinner.

The Day That Wouldn't End

2011-07-22T21:14:00.001-04:00

The date was 7.20.2011. It was a hot, humid and sunny July day. Sadie was 3.5 years of age, weighing in at 28 pounds. Jax was 13 months, weighing in at 25 pounds. I was exactly 1 week from my due date, weighing in at....well, nevermind that part.

We had a big day ahead of us. The items of business included pick up item from friend's house, swim lessons, fire station play date, go to Mimi's house, get kids down for nap, Alicia go to doctor's appointment, make dinner, go to Rays game. That's a lot for a 9 month pregnant woman who has to care for and carry two heavy children around.

Well, I went to leave for our first errand and guess what....dead car battery. Our precious little Sadie had played in the car while I carried groceries in the day before and left the lights on. This is probably the 5th time that's happened in the last two years. You would think my learning curve would be a little better. Well, I knocked on the neighbor's door but they weren't home. So I called Stephanie Cricchio, a great friend who lives close by, to see if she could jump the car. Luckily she was leaving for swim lessons (they go right before us) and said she'd swing by and help. Well, my car was in the garage and it was so dead that we couldn't even get it to turn on to put it in neutral to back it out of the garage. So, instead, we had to take everything out of the other side of the garage (lawn mower, trash can, stroller, pressure washer, saw, 40 lb. bag of fertilizer, etc) and squeeze her car in. Well, the fit was so tight that she had to crawl in and out of her car window. Did I mention she's 7 months pregnant yet? No, I haven't. She's 7 months pregnant. Did I mention it was 95 degrees outside and 100% humidity and we're both extremely pregnant? It was hot! Anyways, luckily I didn't have to crawl in and out of the window but I did have to crawl in and our of the driver's side door. It wasn't pretty. Well, after much sweat and agony we got the car up and running. I was so thankful to Cricchio!

So, we went to swimming lessons. Those are outside, too = more heat! Sadie loved it though and did fabulous. She's really starting to get good now. Jax, however, really wanted to swim too which meant I kept having to stand up (not easy), walk (painful!), run after (almost impossible!!!), pick up (ouchie), and carry (exhausting) a hot, sweaty baby (did I mention it was like the hottest day of the year?) back to the shade and try to keep him from running off again. Anyways, we all survived and Sadie loved it.

Then we went to the fire station. Sadie is obsessed with fire trucks right now and we have a great friend in the ward who is a fireman, but their family is about to move to Utah so we thought we should go to the fire station and see the fire trucks before they leave. Well, when we got to the fire station Sadie flipped out! She was petrified and just wanted to leave. I guess fire trucks are fun on TV and in books and as toys, but NOT in real life to her. I should have just aborted mission but I knew once we got in there she would love it. So, I put Jax in the stroller and called for Sadie but she would not get out of the car. I talked to her reasonably, but she just wouldn't budge. So, I ended up pushing the stroller with one hand and carrying her on my hip into the fire station. Again, 9 months pregnant + hot, blazing heat + heavy, crying child = very difficult! Well, after 5 or 10 minutes she did, in fact, warm up and ended up loving the experience. She climbed the ladder, sat in the driver's seat, explored the ambulance, and toured the fire station. Also, 'Dave the Fireman' happens to love babies and held Jax for me most of the time. It was a kindness I will forever be grateful for!

This is my hero Cricchio and Andrew spraying the hose

Dave holding his little buddy, Jax.

Sadie sitting in the back of the ambulance.

Jax thinking, "Um, where am I?"

After the fire station we went to my mom's house because I had a scheduled doctor's appointment. I hadn't planned to, but I had a spare set of clothes in the car, so I took a quick shower to freshen up from my sweaty morning. I had 45 minutes to shower, feed the kids, change the kids, and get the kids down for a nap. Well, my mom ended up doing the feeding and getting Sadie down for a nap and I ran off to my appointment.

At my appointment I was informed I was 3 cm dilated, 80% effaced and a -1 station. That was a boost to my spirits because I was worried I hadn't changed any from last week. Last week I was 2 cm, 50% effaced and a -2 station. My midwife said, "Most people are in labor with stats like that." It gave me hope that the end is near.

After my appointment I headed back to the homestead. Sadie was asleep for her nap so my mom suggested that I take a nap. I took her up on the offer and I slept for 1.25 wonderful, beautiful hours. When I woke up I felt so refreshed. That may have been the best and most needed nap of my life!

Mom and I made pizzas for dinner and chocolate chip cookies - I'm not proud of the nutritional value of the food but it sure tasted good!

Ben came to my parent's house after work and he and Sadie went to the Rays game. I told Sadie it was a special date night just for her and daddy. She was thrilled. I think she was most excited to get to ride in his car. At least someone in the family thinks that car is special :) She's convinced it's the coolest car in the world! She was absolute BEAMING when her and Ben drove off! Ben said she smiled the whole drive to the game and hundreds of people told him how adorable she was. She really did look cute in her little Ray's shirt.

Daddy daughter date night.

We were practicing her "Go Rays" cheer while Ben moved the car seat to his car.

She was so excited to ride in this beauty of a vehicle!

Jax and I relaxed with my mom for another hour before we headed home. Jax loved being an only child and having our undivided attention. He has a bit of a crush on my mom and really loves to play with her!

These two are the best of friends!

Jax and I arrived home around 9:30. He went to bed easily and I had lots of energy, thanks to my afternoon nap, so I cleaned and packed bags and whatnot until Ben and Sadie arrived home around 11:30. Sadie was still on a high from her night and she didn't get to sleep until past 12! Ben and I layed down around 12:30. Ben was asleep by 12:31 and at about 12:32 I had a contraction that knocked my socks off. I spent the next almost two hours laying in bed thinking I was in labor. I was having pretty strong contractions every 5 - 7 minutes apart. I wanted to let Ben get a good nap and I wanted to be sure I was in labor before I woke him up. I got out of bed around 2 and watched a TV show to get my mind off of the contractions. Well, the contractions slowed down after I got up. So, around 2:30 I decided to lay down again. At 4AM I was awoken by more, very strong contractions and cramping. They were very regular and around 5AM I finally woke Ben up. Once I woke him up they started not being as strong, although, they were regular at every 3 - 4 minutes apart. After 30 minutes they stopped, so I told him to go back to sleep. I tried to fall asleep and did successfully sleep but woke up after 30 minutes with strong contractions again. By this point it was 6:30AM and I was tired of laying in bed so I just got up. I went on a walk and the contractions completely stopped. So disappointing! How disappointing - you just cannot imagine. It was just devastating.

Anyways, that was my never ending day. And this is the never ending blog post. I could go on about how the next day went, but really, is anyone even still reading?

Although it was a hard day it could have been so much harder! There were so many people that helped to ease my load. Cricchio who climbed in and out of her car window 4 times, in the heat, and being 7 months pregnant to jump my car. Dave and Leslie Ballard who held Jax for me the whole time at the fire station. My mom who watched my kids and let me take a much needed nap. My dad who provided us with free tickets to the Rays game. And Ben who had Sadie all evening which allowed me to relax and get a lot of important things done. I'm so thankful I know Heavenly Father is aware of me and my struggles and sends people to help me in my moments of need.

I know 27 is not that old,

2011-07-15T21:39:00.002-04:00

...I just can't believe I'm that old!

Can you guess what I wished for?

Yup, I had another birthday. It's so strange to age because I still mentally feel about 21 or 22. Oh well!

My birthday was on a Sunday this year which is usually my most stressful day of the week. However, Ben took Jax all of 2nd and 3rd hour of church and had someone cover tithing and post-church meetings so he could come home with us. It was so, so, so nice!!

The family (including Julie's parents) came over in the afternoon for Thai food - panang, spring rolls, and mangoes and sticky rice for dessert. The toddlers (Ethan, Joseph, and Sadie) were majorly disappointed that there wasn't a cake at my birthday party so I gave them some ice cream instead of mangoes. They appreciated that - a lot!

These were the leftovers spring rolls. We made a few too many.

It's become tradition to let all the little kids have a turn at blowing out the candles.

The First of Thousands

2011-07-15T21:16:00.001-04:00

Jax looks on as Sadie attends her swim lesson.

Sadie started swim lessons last week. I had the thought as I was driving to her first swim lesson, "This is the first of thousands." It was the first time I've ever taken a child to any type of lesson, class, practice, etc. I figure in my lifetime I'll probably end up driving kids to and attending a lot (hopefully not thousands, though) baseball practices, piano lessons, soccer games, dance recitals, and the like.

That's all. I just wanted to remember the very first one :) Surely one day I'll dread being the chauffeur and running kids all over town, but as for right now, I think it's pretty swell to sit back and watch her being taught and light up with excitement at learning new things. She does absolutely love them, by the way.

Here are a few other pictures of us at the pool lately. We were at the beach/pool five times in four days this past week. The kids and I are a little waterlogged. But they love it and I love it because I can hold them all I want without it hurting my back. Oh, also, they take really good, long naps after we swim. I really like that!!

See what I mean about the nice, deep naps?
I brought him in from the car, changed him, and took pictures of him -
he never moved a muscle.

Will you pray for me?

2011-07-06T23:06:00.000-04:00

....to go into labor?

I'm 37 weeks today, aka, 'full term'. I've pretty much been pregnant two years straight. Well, I've been pregnant 18 of the past 21 months. It's time for me to have my abdomen back for myself, don't you think?

With my last two pregnancies I was a week late and induced both times. I desperately don't want to be induced again! And, I really desperately don't want to have swollen feet, an achy back, sore hips, and non-restful sleep for another month.

So, if you could remember me in your prayers I would really appreciate it. But, don't forget, specifics are important when praying. These are the items to mention 1) healthy baby (of course, the most important item) 2) safe delivery and 3) a child that nurses easily.

Yes, I realize I should be asking you to pray for me to have an added measure of patience and strength. But, really, I've been pretty patient, wouldn't you say? I just want to hug and cuddle this baby and be me again. Please, please, please pray for me to go into labor! Much thanks :)

A Happy Fourth

2011-07-06T22:44:00.001-04:00

My little beach bums!

A boy and his dad - they are so alike!

We call him Captain Jax Sparrow because of this hat and his clumsy walking.

These are two of the sweetest little boys God ever put on this earth. I'm so happy they're family!

We tried for some pictures in the afternoon. I didn't capture anything spectacular but these are a few to show Jax walking and the kids' cute personalities. They are both so much fun right now!

He still walks with his hands up and flailing.

I really have my hands full lately!

Our attempt at a family picture.

I just love Sadie's expression here.
She was trying to get Jax to laugh and kept cracking herself up.

We watched the fireworks from the Courtney Campbell Causeway.
Jax slept through them and Sadie just wanted to play with her doll.
Ben and I enjoyed them, though.

First Steps

2011-06-23T20:17:00.003-04:00

Jax took his first real steps today! He's been crawling for ages and loves to climb (makes me very, very nervous), but his interest in walking has been practically nonexistent. However, today he had a major breakthrough.

Here's how it went down: Sadie was asleep, I was lying on the sofa (wishing I was asleep), and Jax was wide awake standing and holding onto the TV console. We were playing a game where he opens the door to the TV cabinet and I tell him, "No, no Jax" and then he quick closes it and laughs. Well during one door closure he became really excited and let go of the TV cabinet and started walking towards me. He took a good 9 or so steps and then dropped to the floor and laughed. I'm not sure he realized he had done anything special but I went berserk. He's been so close for so long. And I have been so anxious for him to walk because a) he is really heavy and it hurts my back and hips to hold him and b) he's always squirming/kicking/elbowing my huge belly wanting to get down.

I'm trying not to be too excited. Sadie took 9 steps when she was 11 months old and still didn't officially walk until she was 15 months old. However, all afternoon he kept letting go of the sofa and taking 5 or 6 steps so I think he's pretty close. Yea!

Anyways, here are a few pictures from today to document what he's like lately.

We went to the playground this morning and he loved playing in the sand.

Can you tell his face is covered in sand? Yuck!

Sadie found a little shade and made sand castles for a while.

Both kids' favorite activity is swinging.

This afternoon we went to the library. By this point he was getting good at taking steps but I couldn't get any good pictures of him doing it. He was climbing all over the place, though.

He loves to climb up on chairs, tables, pianos, into the dishwasher, etc.
But, don't worry, he's never hurt himself!

Those are some beautiful thighs, no?

Last picture - Sadie deep in thought.
She had just finished a very challenging puzzle and was taking a mental break.

First Birthday

2011-06-17T23:17:00.002-04:00

Jax turned the big 1 this past week. He's been a delightful, happy little baby. We've really enjoyed this past year!

The family came up to celebrate with us. We had a pool/pizza party. Fun times were had by all!

Grandma Meyers shown above holding Baby James

Joseph shown above doing a cannonball

Ben and Jax doing tricks in the pool

Ethan shown above with Mike enjoying playtime

The cake - decorated by my mom.

The toddlers shown above eyeing the cake.

We asked them, "How old is Jax?"

Everyone had a turn blowing out the candle. The kids loved it!

Jax was a little uncertain about the cake at first. He warmed-up quickly, though, and put on a good show for us.

Sadie enjoyed the cake, too!

We love you so, so, so much Jax! Happy birthday little man!!!

Lines for Ben

2011-06-15T23:00:00.000-04:00

Dear Ben,

We're going to have a baby soon (but not soon enough). Memories of Jax's birth are starting to resurface in my mind - the pain, agony, chaos, and uncertainty. At the moment I would happily go through any necessary pain to have this baby out. However, when the time actually comes to endure the pain I may need a few mental reminders to help me through.

Here are some lines that will probably help me in my hour of need:

"If you did this with pitocin and stuck on your side for three hours - you can make it through this."
"Just an hour or two more and you won't be pregnant again. Think of how great it will be to sleep on your back, be free of aches and pains, and not have to use the bathroom every hour."
"Just relax into it; don't tense up against it."
"You won't have to do this again for a long, long time - if ever."
"It's awful to be uncomfortable but think of how much easier the recovery will be."
"At least things are going smoothly and it doesn't look like you'll need a c-section, right?" (Let's hope all goes smoothly)

Other helpful topics to bring up to distract me:

Is it a boy or girl?
What should we name the baby? (Because I have a feeling we still won't have decided even at this point)
The expressions on Jax's and Sadie's faces when they first see their new sibling.

Also:

Don't forget to rock the bed with your foot. That really helped last time.
If the nurses/doctors are pushy or ornery will you please deal with them and be assertive - I don't want to deal with them.
Please don't whistle, tap, or make any unnecessary noise - I'm very sensitive to extraneous noise. Maybe we should pack some ear plugs?

My apologies in advance for any snippitiness I may send your way during labor and delivery. Remember I love you very much and I'll be normal again soon (but not soon enough).

Your loving wife,

Alicia

Blossoming

2011-06-05T23:36:00.000-04:00

Sadie has changed so much in the past few months that's she barely resembles the baby I once knew. No longer timid and shy, she has become outgoing and social. I thought I'd jot down a few things about her so I can preserve just how fun she has become.

Nicknames: Sades, Sade, Sadester, Say-Jay, Say-Say, Little Lady, and Sister.

Favorite Activities: Jumping on the bed or neighbor's trampoline, collecting acorns, dressing up in sunday dresses, throwing tennis balls into baskets, coloring and cutting, playing with water and her tea set, doing puzzles, watching YouTube dance videos - especially from Enchanted, singing primary songs, sitting in Jax's carseat, dancing, and mothering Shadow and Jax.

She loves her acorns. We go out collecting them quite frequently.

Sadie shown above sitting in Jax's car seat/stroller. She loves her little cave.

Favorite Places to Go: The library to see her Bengal Tiger stuffed animal friend, the pool and beach, walks to the park and lake at night to play and feed the fish, primary, and Mimi's house.

Favorite Animals: Cows, tigers, and sharks.

Favorite Colors: Light blue and orange (so she told us, I don't think she even knows those colors).

Favorite TV Shows and/or Movies: Wonder Pets, Barney, Blue's Clues, Singing in the Rain, and her 'Jesus Show'.

Favorite Foods: Fruit snacks (sadly, her most favorite), pizza, cheese, yogurt, mandarin oranges, cereal, almonds, apples with PB, bananas with Nutella, corn, and strawberries.

Best adjectives to describe Sadie: girly ~ playful ~ emotion-filled ~ happy ~ strong willed ~ musical ~ ~ gentle ~ artistic ~ sweet ~ small ~ smiley ~ tender ~ giggly ~ affectionate ~ social ~ compassionate ~ observant ~ hysterical.

Favorite and Frequent Quotes:

"I love YOU so, so much!" (She tends to say this when I'm stressed and need a pick-me-up)
"You're a good boy Jax." (As she pats him on his head)
"Kimmy flys on an airplane to Utah." (This is her go-to line when she can't think of anything interesting to talk to us about)
"No, I want to talk" (she hates it when Ben and I talk to each other and always interrupts us with that line)
"Jax, please be happy." (When he gets fussy in the car)
"The four goes in the back." (This is what she says when she puts her underwear on.)
"I want to do it by myself!" (Says this about everything - feeding herself, brushing her teeth, dressing herself, getting in her carseat, getting her shoes on, going potty, etc.)

What does Sadie want to be when she grows up? Firefighter, teacher, or a boy(?).

Best Friends: Mary Smith, Sadie Tee, and Leana (the next door neighbor).

Boyfriends: Carson May, Fisher Emery, and Andrew Cricchio.

Favorite Songs: I Am a Child of God, I Love to See the Temple, The Wise Man Built His House Upon the Rock, Once There Was a Snowman, Itsy Bitsy Spider, and I'm Trying to Be Like Jesus.

Physical Features: Eye color is shifty - it's green or Hazel. She's short and petite. Still has her chubby cheeks, fabulous smile, and baby-soft skin.

Also noteworthy:

She has a very long attention span.

She is as girly as can be - loves to wear dresses, have her toenails painted, and her hair done.

She doesn't run - she prances.

She has high highs and low lows.

She is an excellent big sister.

She makes friends very quickly and loves 4 - 8 year olds.

She loves to pose for the camera.

She is extremely expressive.

Funny - we had been so worried about her when she was younger; but she has turned into a perfectly pleasant, social little toddler. The transformation actually began shortly after Jax was born. We were concerned how she would adapt to having a sibling and sharing the limelight. But, Jax is about the best thing that has ever happened to Sadie. His birth has forced her to become independent, yet she still feels loved and adored. Jax is happy to let her be the center of attention, patient with her moodiness, and always entertained by her games. They're really perfect for each other!

It's bittersweet to watch her grow. I still think of her as a little one year old - so lightweight, needy, and snuggly. I'm still adjusting to this new, confident, independent version of Sadie. I'm so proud of the sweet little girl she is turning into and so grateful I have a front row seat to watch her continue to blossom.

The Point - Take 2

2011-05-27T12:50:00.002-04:00

I've hit "The Point" again. Remember that post from last year? Funny how so many of the concerns are still the same for me! Except now I worry about Jax, too. Sometimes I feel like I'm just living last year over again just with Jax this time.

Anyways, I've hit the point where the pregnancy is getting really uncomfortable. My body is getting sluggish, sleep is getting difficult and non-restful, and my mind is starting to worry. Also, I guess the elastin has officially been released in my body because my hip/pelvic pain is in full force. Ejection preparation has begun!

Two months from today is my due date. In some ways I'm really, really, really ready to just hurry up and have this baby. I have been pregnant 17 of the last 21 months of my life and I'm so ready to be me again. But, in other ways, I feel like it would be best if this pregnancy never ends because I'm worried about the reality of juggling three kids that are three and under. Yikes!

I'm sure I'll survive ("I will survive won't I?" I think to myself as I type this), but I'm also realistic enough to know that it's going to be a long, tiring year up ahead. I'm actually pretty excited to have the kids so close together - it's just going to be a challenge while they're all little but I think it will be great fun in the grand scheme of things. I just need to have faith that things will work out. Because things will work out. That I know for sure. When you're doing what's right and trying your best Heavenly Father always makes your best good enough.

So, I will try to not dwell on my fears but look forward to the day we'll have one more smiling face to add to the two adorable ones I clean and kiss and admire all day long.